


Made of Stars

by throwupsparkles



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Awkward Gerard Way, Brotherly Love, Haunted House, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nice Little Taste of Petekey, Not Waycest, Ray is a ghost hunter?, Sexual Content, Soul Bonded Ways, Strangers to Lovers, ghost fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwupsparkles/pseuds/throwupsparkles
Summary: Gerard bounces on the couch. “Maybe we’ll have to call Ed and Lorraine Warren!”Mikey snorts and looks at Frank. “You better watch out, Gerard has a big crush on Lorraine.”Frank wrinkles his nose. “Isn’t she like really old?”
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Comments: 80
Kudos: 171





	Made of Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about the formatting, one day I will get it together an learn to post properly on this site. 
> 
> This another one of those situations where I started out with a pretty straightforward idea, and then it morphed into something a lot bigger than I had planned. And I had actually intended this to be a comedy...but if you are familiar with my work, you know I mostly write angst. Anyway this was supposed to just be a silly messy hookup story and then became a ghost fic.
> 
> UPDATE: The response I've gotten on this story has been amazing and overwhelming in the best way. There's a lot of wonderful discussions in the comment section, though if this is your first time reading this I highly suggest you make sure you don't read any of the comments before making your way to the end.

Gerard never does this.

He’s not really a drunken one night stand kind of guy. Not that he’s some super romantic guy, his relationships closely resembled a Dungeons and Dragons campaign where he’s super squishy and keeps rolling crit ones. 

Not that he’s complaining about the situation he’s in. He’s got some guy that’s totally out of his league pressing him against his front door, kissing him like he’s trying to deplete Gerard of his oxygen levels. He can’t even remember how he met this guy. Just that he was at a show and then suddenly there he was. And they were talking. And they were laughing. And then they were kissing. And then he was being pressed against the door.

“Fuck,” he moans when the guy sucks at his earlobe. 

God, he feels like such a teenager right now, getting so turned on by _kissing_. 

“You going to let us in, or should I just get on my knees here?” 

“Fuck,” Gerard says again and he has to mentally prepare himself so that he can turn and fumble his key into the doorhandle. 

There’s more stumbling, some laughter and Gerard giggling, “Shh, don’t wake up Mikey.”

_Too Late_

The guy hesitates for a moment, but then he’s all smiles again and his lips are pressed against Gerard’s.

He needs to remember this guy’s name. Because, fuck, that’s kind of a dick move. He doesn’t know how to go about finding out though, he can’t exactly stop in the middle of him unbuttoning his jeans to be like, “Oh, by the way, what’s your name again?”

So he just pushes it to the side for a moment, let’s himself get swept up in the heat, the rolling waves of heat washing over him. They’re walking downstairs then, and there’s more fumbling but this time clothes are falling off, littering across his floor as they make their way to his bed. 

Fuck he has a lot of tattoos, Gerard hadn’t been able to tell in the dark venue. He noticed shadows across his skin, but he had no idea that there was all this art on him. Gerard knows he’s probably taking too long licking the lines on his skin, but it’s grounding him to this. To keep him from slipping into a whiskey coke slumber, because he’s getting there. 

“Gee,” Tattoo Guy whimpers when Gerard licks at the birds in between his hips.

And fuck, he feels like a dick now that this guy knows his name. But he doesn’t feel bad for too long, because then he’s being rolled over onto his back.

*

“There’s a naked guy in your bed,” Mikey says stepping into the tub with Gerard and closing the shower curtain behind them. 

Gerard leans back against the tiled wall and pulls his Star Wars pajama clad knees up to his chest. “He’s still here?” He asks, eyes bugging out of his head. 

Mikey snorts. 

Gerard sighs, this was why he didn’t do hookups. They were messy and awkward and Gerard did not have the social skills to navigate this.

Mikey presses his foot against Gerard’s and he feels like he’s just been wrapped up in the world’s coziest blanket, his mind warm and unafraid. “Just go back in there and offer him some Gatorade.” 

Gerard huffs. “Do we even have Gatorade?”

Mikey smirks. “Yeah, your favorite little brother went out to get you some even after the two of you woke me up last night.”  
  


Gerard blushes and mutters, “You’re my only brother.”

“Gee, quit stalling and _go_.”

Gerard rolls his eyes and crawls out of the tub and treks down to the kitchen, finding two bottles of Gatorade in the fridge. When he heads back to his room, he hesitates by the door.

_Go on._

Gerard takes a deep breath before opening the door. 

Tattoo Guy is zipping up his pants when he walks back in. He looks up and smiles, blinding and too sweet for someone who’s trying to sneak out.

“Hey,” he says brightly.

Gerard smiles, and he hopes it doesn’t look like a grimace like it does when he tries to smile through an awkward situation. He holds out a Gatorade.

“Oh, fuck, thank you,” Tattoo Guy says, opening it and taking a few big gulps. 

Gerard doesn’t know if he’s supposed to go sit on his bed or just stand here awkwardly by the door. And he realizes that he hasn’t said anything and now he can’t really figure out _what_ he’s supposed to say, so what ends up coming out of his mouth is, “yeah.”

Tattoo Guy grins, “You were more talkative last night.”

Gerard blushes and he looks down, thinking if he can’t see him then he in fact does not exist. 

Tattoo Guy walks over, slowly, almost like he’s worried he’s going to scare Gerard off. He curves his palm around Gerard’s jaw and tilts it up so that Gerard is looking up at him. He smiles and Gerard wonders if he’s still a little drunk, because he feels dizzy again. And then he’s being kissed, slow and dirty. 

Gerard isn’t sure if he’s a good kisser. No one’s ever really complained, but that’s not really something that you bring up unless you’re a dick. But kissing this guy makes him forget to be self-conscious about it. He doesn’t even have to think, doesn't have the capacity to think really. 

He just wraps his hand around Tattoo Guy’s neck and pulls him closer, giving into the urge to 

slide his fingers up and tangle into his hair. When he tugs, he’s awarded with a gasp and Gerard licks into his mouth, tasting, tasting, tasting because he doesn’t know if this is the last time he’ll 

have the chance.

“I have to get going,” Tattoo Guy murmurs.

Gerard nods, but pulls him in for another kiss.

Tattoo Guy grins against his lips, “Trust me, I know. I want to pull you back in bed, but I’m meeting a friend.”

Gerard smiles and leans back, staring at his kissed-red lips. “Ok,” he whispers, trying not to let “friend” mean more than it has to. This is just a hookup. They don’t know each other, they don’t owe each other anything. 

Tattoo Guy leans in and kisses him briefly, before walking out. Gerard hesitates for a moment, wondering if he’s supposed to walk him to his car. By the time he decides to move his feet, he hears the front door opening and shutting.

And then the heat of the kiss is leaking from Gerard’s body and he feels that cold ping of loneliness again. The kind of cold that makes his skin feel numb and his insides empty. But then he hears Mikey walking around the house and the unsettling feeling dissipates. 

He knows that not everyone will understand his relationship with his brother, because yeah, they’re fucking close. And not just finish-each-other's-sentences close but able-to-read-each-other’s-mind close. Literally. Gerard hadn’t realized that it was anything special until he watched how other siblings acted. He couldn’t see the closeness between them that he felt between him and Mikey. Just, how they fucking got each other. How they were each other’s whole world. That when Gerard took a breath, it filled Mikey’s lungs. 

_Quit hiding. I have pizza rolls._

Gerard grins and makes his way downstairs to find Mikey sitting on the couch watching reruns of _The Simple Life_ with a plate of pizza rolls balancing on his stomach. Gerard sits next to him and takes one.

“He’s really hot,” Mikey says in his uninterested tone of voice, but Gerard knows better.

“Yeah.”

Mikey doesn’t say anything else for a long time, they just watch Paris and Nicole on the screen until, “Are you going to see him again?”

Gerard winces. “I didn’t get his number.”

Mikey snorts. 

_Classic_

*

  
  


“Where the fuck did you go last night?” Hambone asks, lighting a cigarette.

“I left with someone,” Frank says, trying to keep his voice light about it. 

It wasn’t a big deal for Frank to go home with someone, he usually found a bed to crash in after shows, but last night felt like a bigger deal. He hadn’t been as drunk as Gerard, so he’s not sure if the guy even remembers him or the night, and from the way he was skittish this morning--probably not. 

And that sort of stings. That he doesn’t remember how they caught each other’s eyes at the bar. Frank is really good at finding people who are interested in him. He knows he’s good looking and he fucking works that to his advantage. And he tries not to fall into the mindset that he’s basically pimping his body out just so he has a fucking bed to sleep in at night. But when he caught Gerard’s eye last night, it wasn’t dirty, animalistic, instinct. It was just intrigue, like he was trying to assess him and when he couldn’t he wanted to know Frank even more. And he didn’t come up to him right away like Frank’s hookups usually did, he kept his distance for more than half the show. He pressed himself against the wall and just watched Frank in the pit, and Frank tried to put on a good show for him, made sure he came out drenched in sweat so his white shirt bled into his skin. 

And he still hadn’t said anything, just kept going back to the bar. And usually this type of behavior would be a huge turn off for Frank, he didn’t have time to play games. But, he was fucking drawn to this dude. The way he kept shoving a hand into his grimy hair, pushing it back and it almost sticking to the rest of his stands from all the oil. How he kept eyeing everyone like they were talking bad about him behind his back, but swayed his hips like he was dripping sex. Frank wanted to taste the words leaking out of the corner of his mouth, lick at the lyrics he was reciting and stare into the eyes that were shining so bright. 

So Frank finally went up to him and took the cup out of his hands and set it down on the nearest table, wanting to slow down the inebriation processes. “Frank,” he had said, watching Gerard’s wide eyes slowly take in the situation.

“Gerard,” he said. 

And then they were sitting outside, shoulders pressed together and laughing at absolutely nothing at all. It was one of those easy nights where words just fell onto his tongue and he didn’t have to think or filter anything because Gerard just fucking got it. 

He doesn’t remember who initiated the kiss, just that suddenly they were and Frank couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop it. And then they were walking to Gerard’s house. Frank remembers every detail of it. Remembers Gerard’s hands and tongue tracing his tattoos, how he fucking took his time with it too. He didn’t treat it like foreplay, it was like touching and tasting Frank was the main event. Like he wasn’t chasing his own release, he was happy just winding Frank up and up. And it wasn’t really winding him up sexually, well it was, but it was more that Frank was shaking from the tenderness of it. From the feeling of being cherished and touched like he was an actual fucking person and not just a body to get off with. 

They didn’t even have sex. Just laid in bed, touching and tasting until Gerard’s eyes grew heavy. Frank stroked his matted hair, pulled the blankets over them and watched him let himself fall asleep in Frank’s arms. It was the most beautiful thing that Frank had ever seen. Gerard was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

“Woah, Earth to Iero,” Hambone says, waving his hand in front of Frank’s eyes.

Frank rolls his eyes. “What?”

“You’re pretty hung up on this guy.”

Frank snorts. “It was just a hookup.”  
  


Hambone didn’t look like he bought it, but he didn’t press. And Frank was really glad that he just got it sometimes. 

“I gotta go,” Frank mumbles, standing up from the cement steps of the parking lot they were sitting on.

“Alright, see you later,” Hambone says, smiling up at him.

Frank gives him a halfhearted wave and walks through the parking lot and down the street. Most days are the same for Frank. He wakes up in someone else’s bed, and then he sneaks out before they wake up. Well except for this morning, he hadn’t wanted to leave Gerard. But, usually he’s out the door before the sky has a chance to warm all the way up. Then he’ll meet Hambone at their steps to check in on each other. Hambone stays in a group home up the road, he’s a recovering addict and it had killed Frank when he watched the addiction take his best friend. It took him down past where Frank could reach, down, down, down to a rock bottom that Frank didn’t even know was possible. 

But he was always at the steps, every morning even if he looked like he was on the verge of death. Frank begged him to let Frank take him to a hospital, but he refused and just kept sticking needles under his skin. And then one day Hambone didn’t show up to their steps, and Frank didn’t see him for three days before he started checking hospitals. He finally found him, recovering from an overdose and getting checked into rehab.

He’s been clean for ten months now and Frank hasn’t seen him happier. 

After Frank checks in with Hambone, he’ll walk down to the stores on the main street to poke into the comic book store. Ray doesn’t care that Frank reads the new issues and then puts them back on the self. Ray is good people. He always buys takeout for lunch and “accidently” orders more than he can eat and he never asks questions. He even gives him a few jobs whenever he can so that Frank has some spending money; things like helping him unbox all the new issues every Wednesday and sorting them into people’s holds or helping Ray host RPG nights. Frank never got into RPGs when he was younger, but he sees the appeal now. He likes that it’s an evening where he can be a strong knight instead of some puny tatted up homeless punk. 

After spending the day with Ray, he’ll walk down to the record store and spend some hours clicking different CDs into the listening booth, pretending that he’s in his own room, laying out on his bed and living a different life. Sometimes when he’s feeling really shitty, he’ll pretend he’s playing guitar. He’ll pretend he’s up on stage with a band that’s his family, and they’d never abandon him.

Then, as the sunsets, Frank will make his way to the small venue in town and if he has the cash, he’ll buy a ticket, but if not he’ll blow whoever is working the door. Nights in the sweaty venue is what keeps him going. Pushing and falling in the pit, losing himself in the music and letting everything just cease to exist for a bit is the only thing that keeps him alive these days. 

Because all too soon, he’ll have to start looking around for someone to take him home and start it all over again.

*

Gerard watches the photocopy machine light up and spit out pages that are covered in the worst drawings of cats Gerard has ever seen. He doesn’t know why he’s even still here. It’s really a dead end job even though everyone’s eyes light up when he tells them that he works for Cartoon Network. It’s supposed to be the dream for a cartoonist like himself, but he thought he’d actually be creating cartoons not copying them. 

But, it brings home a good enough paycheck for Mikey and him to live off of. Their grandmother left them her house in her will, and while it was really hard to live there and not feel the sadness of her loss, he was fucking grateful for a place to live. The house had been paid off years ago, so Gerard’s paycheck only had to cover utilities and groceries for him and Mikey. Well, and comics, tickets to shows, and Mikey’s addiction to Coke Zero.

When he gets home, Mikey is sitting at the kitchen table with his phone turning in his hand. Gerard sets down his bag and leans against the kitchen counter. “What are you trying to do? Summon a text?”

Mikey rolls his eyes.

_Bite me._

Gerard snorts and sits at the table with him, pulling the ashtray near him and lighting a cigarette. 

“Is it that Pete kid?”

Mikey rolls his eyes again. 

_Stop._

Gerard sighs and takes a drag. “You know, it’s not fair for you to talk about my love life and then do nothing for yours.”

“I didn’t talk about your love life, I told you to give the naked guy in your bed some Gatorade.”

_Same thing._

“Not really,” Mikey says with a grimace. 

_Talk to me._

“Then actually talk,” Mikey teases.

Gerard sighs and taps his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray. “He hasn’t called?”

“It’s been weeks,” Mikey says.

“I think it’s time to move on then, Mikes.”

Mikey frowns and Gerard is hit with this overwhelming sense of sadness, like he’s being pressed down to the ground with a hot, suffocating blanket enveloping him into despair. 

_Mikey_

Then he’s falling into the floor, falling and falling, this never ending drop in his stomach of him crashing into nothing.

_Mikey!_

They both jump at a lightbulb bursting, glass sprinkling the floor and leaving them in the dim light of the streetlight poking through their blinds. Gerard stabs out his cigarette and comes over to Mikey’s side. Mikey is staring at the broken lightbulb like it’s going to jump up and bite him.

“Hey, Mikes,” Gerard whispers, putting an arm around his shoulders, “It’s ok, it just got too hot or something. It’s an old house, the wiring is probably shot.”

Mikey nods, but doesn’t take his eyes off where the lightbulb is shattered. Even after Gerard sweeps it up.

*

  
  


Frank doesn’t expect to see Gerard again, especially in some place so mundane like the sandwich place by Ray’s comic book store. It’s like seeing a teacher outside of school, you just don’t think that they live outside the little world you built them into. 

Gerard’s eyes grow wide when he walks in and Frank bites back the laugh that bubbles to his throat. Gerard looks like he wants to say something, but he’s struggling.

Frank knows that look so he grins and says, “It’s Frank.”

Recognition lights over his face and then he smiles shyly. “Yeah, um, hi?”

Frank grins. “Hi,” he says. 

Gerard shuffles a little on his feet, digging his fingers into his hair and Frank can’t help but find it endearing. He takes a step closer to Gerard and says, “So I realized that I never left you my number.” He doesn’t fucking do this though, he always leaves the next morning just so he doesn’t have to figure out how to deal with his hookups in the light of day. But, Gerard isn’t really a hookup, so maybe the rules don’t apply. And, fuck, how is he supposed to just let a guy like him go when he’s standing there with pink cheeks and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hoodie? 

Gerard nibbles on his lip, and Frank worries for a moment that he’s trying to let him down easy. At least someone like Gerard won’t be a jerk to Frank, he probably would let him down sweetly enough that Frank would say thank you like the love struck idiot he’s acting like. 

“Yeah my brother gave my shit for not getting your number.”

Brother.

“Oh, is that Mikey?”

Gerard raises an eyebrow. 

“You mentioned him.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s my younger brother, we live together.”

“Cool,” Frank says, sticking his hands into his pockets. 

“Um…”Gerard starts, then, “do you want to have lunch together?”

Frank grins and nods. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Frank and Gerard order, and Frank’s pleased that Gerard isn’t one of those people who get’s too fancy with his sandwiches. They sit outside since it’s nice and Frank isn’t put off that Gerard doesn’t say much as they eat. It’s still a little awkward, but not unbearable. Frank doesn’t know how to interact with someone he’s just met when he’s already seen their dick, seems a little out of order. 

“So are you and your brother close?” Frank finally decides on. 

Gerard grins around his sandwich. “Yeah, we’re practically the same person,” and the way he says that makes it sound like it’s an inside joke.

Frank nods. “I’m an only child.”

Gerard frowns like he just told him that he had cancer. “I’m sorry, that must be really lonely.”

Frank shrugs, “Yeah. I was good at making friends when I was younger. And my best friend and I are practically brothers.”

That seems to appease Gerard a bit, he takes another bite of his sandwich and nods, “I was always really awkward in school, Mikey was pretty much my only friend.”

“You seem to do alright now.”

Gerard snorts, “I only talked to you because I was drunk.”

Frank grins at him. “I made the first move if you do recall.”

Gerard blushes. “I don’t really remember that night at all.”

He kind of figured, but Frank is still a little bummed about it. “Well, I can remind you,” Frank says in a tone he usually saves for at the venue. It works though, because Gerard blushes deeper and starts to stutter.

Frank grins. “Relax,” he says, “Nothing happened.”

Gerard raises his eyebrow. “Nothing happened?’

Frank finishes the last of his sandwich and he shakes his eyes. “No, I mean, we definitely started things”--Frank is slightly worried that Gerard might die from embarrassment-- “But, we fell asleep before anything got too serious.”

  
  


“Oh,” he breathes and Frank bites his lip to keep from smiling any wider because his cheeks fucking hurt. Gerard almost looks sad that they didn’t fuck, but there’s also relief, and maybe hope? Frank’s going to run with it.

“Yeah,” Frank says, “So, you know we could do this the proper way still.”  
  


“P-proper way?”

Frank chuckles, “Yeah, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Um, nothing?”

“Great, want to go to dinner?”

Gerard smiles and looks at his knees, but he nods.

*

Gerard throws another shirt on his desk chair with a sigh. Nothing looks good on him, it doesn’t really matter what shirt he tries to put on. Everything hugs him in a weird way or is bulky in all the wrong places. He throws on a hoodie and falls back on his bed.

_You can borrow one of my shirts._

_Like anything you own will fit me._

_Hey, I’d like you to be nicer to my brother please._

Gerard snorts and rolls his eyes. 

There’s a knock against his door but it opens even when Gerard doesn’t answer.

“What’s going on?” Mikey asks quietly. 

Gerard just groans and curls up on his side. Mikey comes over and sits on the edge of his bed, resting a hand on Gerard’s hip. “You don’t really have to be self conscious, he’s already seen you naked.”

“Not helping.”

Mikey grins. “No, seriously, you kinda have the perfect situation. You already know he wants to have sex with you, so you don’t really have to impress him much.”

“Mikey,” Gerard groans.

“I know,” Mikey says softly, tugging at Gerard’s hip so that he’ll turn over and look at him, “But you need to stop being so mean to yourself.”

“I’m not mean.”

Mikey raises an eyebrow. “You know that I hear what you think about yourself, right? You can’t really lie to me, Gee.”

Gerard huffs and rolls back over. 

“What time is he picking you up?”

“I’m meeting him there, he doesn’t drive.”

Mikey shrugs, “Ok, what time do you need to leave?”  
  


“Nowish.”

Mikey pats Gerard’s side. “Get up then, I’ll do your eyeliner for you.”

Gerard sits up. “It’s just a diner.”

“Classy.”

“Shut up, I like that it’s not a fancy place. Less pressure.”

“And you don’t own a dress shirt,” Mikey points out.

“Yeah,” Gerard says, “That too. Can you do that smudgy thing you do? Everytime I do it myself it looks like I just got punched in the eye.”

Mikey grins and gets up to get the black eyeliner pencil sitting on Gerard’s desk. He tilts Gerard’s chin up and waits for Gerard to close his eyes. “Is he nice to you?”

Gerard knows what Mikey is hinting at. It’s too soon to tell, but Gerard has a habit of dating really awful people. There was this one girl he dated for a while who was really controlling and when they broke up she got kinda scary stalkerish. Then there was the guy that got Gerard into taking pills and snorting coke, and that was scary for Mikey to watch. Of course that one ended badly. Gerard did try to see the best in everyone, but his shitty dating history wasn’t really due to that, it was mostly that he didn’t really think he deserved anymore than a controlling girlfriend or a druggie boyfriend.

“He’s nice,” Gerard says softly, “He asked about you.”

And that was a great sign in Gerard’s eyes, that was important because Mikey was important. 

Mikey’s lips quirk up. “Alright, he gets a point for that one.”  
  


Gerard grins. “And he likes Batman over Superman.”  
  


“Two points.”

*

The drive to the diner is nerve wracking to say the least. He has to pull over a few times and focus on breathing before he has a full on panic attack. And he waits outside in the parking lot with two fingers on his pulse, scared he’s going to die right there in the parking lot before he has the chance to even embarrass himself in front of Frank. 

When he finally does pull it together and walks inside, Frank is sitting at a window both with a smile. He stands as Gerard comes over and waits for him to sit down before sitting back down himself, and Gerard thinks that’s really fucking sweet. Like something he’d see in one of his mom’s old romantic movies, the ones where everyone talks like they have molasses on their tongues. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Gerard mumbles.

Gerard had refused to take off his hoodie, but Mikey talked him into at least wearing his leather jacket over it so he looked a little more put together. Then he straightened his hair and sprayed him with something sweet and warm scented. Gerard is pretty sure it was girl’s perfume, but he was already wearing eyeliner so it’s not like he’s really into gender constructs. 

“You’re fine, I haven’t been waiting long,” Frank says, waving his hand.

Gerard smiles, easing up a bit, and looks at the menu. Everytime he looks up, he catches Frank’s eyes over his own menu and they’ll smile and both look away like some teenagers. The waitress comes over and they order, Gerard can’t help but grin when Frank orders the kid’s grilled cheese. 

They talk about comics for a while, Gerard is sort of in awe at Frank’s comic knowledge which then brings them to superhero movies and they launch into a discussion on the annoyances of superhero movies when they “totally shit over the comics”. Frank laughs easy, like he doesn’t even have to consider if something is funny, it’s just a reaction. His grin stays plastered on his face all night, like he’s truly enjoying Gerard’s company and he doesn’t talk over him except when they both got worked up over the monstrosity that was _X-Men: Last Stand_.

When their food arrives, Gerard is almost amazed at how quickly Frank finishes his plate. But he doesn’t make it weird that he’s not eating, he just talks Gerard’s ear off while he eats. He tells him stories about his best friend Hambone, and how they used to be in a punk band a few years ago but the rest of the guys decided they wanted to go off and find real careers. He talks about his love of dogs even though he doesn’t have one at the moment. And he talks about how he likes to sneak in on lectures at the university nearby on days when he doesn’t have anything to do. Right now he’s been sitting in on a bunch of Astronomy classes and, “you wouldn’t believe how much math is involved.”

When Gerard finishes, Frank orders them both coffee.

_Another point._

Gerard smiles over his mug.

Frank doesn’t talk much about his family, just says that he had gotten along with them. Gerard gets hung up on the past tense that Frank uses, but he doesn’t know if that’s a first date conversation.

_It isn’t._

Gerard sighs. 

He answers Frank’s questions about his own family. Even tells him about Elena and how she talked him into playing Peter Pan for his school’s play. “She even made me the outfit...I had these green tights…” And he told him how she taught him to play piano. “She was shy about it. 

She wouldn’t make a big deal or anything, but if you sat down with her then she would show you a few things.”

“She sounds great,” Frank says softly, and Gerard sees the sincerity in his eyes.

“She was,” Gerard whispers.

Frank reaches out and takes his hand, squeezes it gently. 

_Another point_ , but this time Mikey’s voice is softer. 

Gerard used to get annoyed when Mikey would butt into his dates, but he’s come to appreciate it. It helps when his nerves get the best of him and he likes knowing that there’s someone there with him. And Mikey, of course, always makes himself scarce when things...heat up.

Gerard is wondering if he’s supposed to invite him back to his place now that they’re almost done with their coffees, and he thinks that it probably doesn’t matter since they already slept together. Well, they _just_ slept together. And it doesn’t even have to be about sex, he kind of just wants to bring Frank home to hang out with him and Mikey. Maybe play video games and eat a shit ton of sugar.

_As long as he doesn’t eat all the Pop-Tarts_

Gerard snorts and Frank raises his eyebrow, so Gerard asks, “Do you want to come over?”

*

Frank wasn’t sure how great he smelled since he spent last night sleeping next to the quarry. It was the best place to hide because there was an old tunnel that has weeds overgrown around it and he usually can get a few hours of sleep without anyone bothering him. There've been a few other places that he’s crashed at, but he's been more careful ever since he got stabbed in his side that one time. 

He sat at the laundromat all day so that he’d have some clean clothes. He hides his clothes behind Ray’s shop a lot of the time, he just wedges it behind the building and the dumpster and if Ray has ever seen it, he hasn’t said anything. The problem with that, is that sometimes his clothes smell really gross. 

And then he had washed his hair in the gas station bathroom and coated his armpits in deodorant. It wasn’t the best way to get ready for a first date, but it was what he could pull together. 

On the walk over he counted the bills he had in his pocket and he figured that he had enough to cover for dinner, as long as he got something small and drank water. He’d like to have taken Gerard to a nice restaurant, but he thinks that Gerard is a diner kind of guy anyway. 

He had been right. Gerard seemed edgy enough without having the added pressure of some stuffy restaurant. 

And then he invited him back home with him. 

Which is why he’s sitting on the floor against Gerard with a controller in his hand and a plateful of chocolate chip cookies on his lap. 

“Fuck off!” Gerard yells, throwing a banana at Frank’s Yoshi. 

Frank rolls his eyes. “You’re just mad because you keep falling off the track.”  
  


“We can’t play rainbow road because he gets so upset,” Mikey says. 

Frank snorts.  
  


He really likes Mikey. He doesn’t feel like he’s hovering, but still projects a wave of protectiveness that Frank can really respect. He doesn’t ask Frank a lot of questions, just waits for him to offer up anything in between races. He also has really good music taste and plays the bass, which makes them agree that they’ll have to jam together one day. One day when Frank finally has enough money to buy a guitar. 

Mikey squares off against Gerard in Bowser’s Castle and Gerard is actually doing pretty well, which is winding Mikey up. It’s sort of funny to watch because where Gerard wears his emotions all over his face, Mikey is really reserved. 

“Fucking suck my dick,” Mikey growls when Gerard throws a red mushroom at him.

Gerard giggles and inches his way closer to first place. It’s neck and neck for a bit, but Gerard pushes across the finish line first and Mikey throws his controller. 

And then all the lights go off in the house.

Frank frowns. “I don’t think there’s a storm?”  
  


Gerard stands and sighs. “We’ve been having electrical issues.”

Frank looks over at the electric clock that’s still showing the time in bright red. “But not everything is turned off,” he says, perplexed. 

Gerard starts walking around, lighting candles with his lighter. “Hmm, well our lightbulb exploded the other day. Maybe it’s just the lights? I don’t know. It’s a really old house.”

“Maybe you have a ghost,” Frank snorts.

Gerard turns, his eyes wide. “That would be so cool! Mikes, did you hear that? Maybe we’re haunted!”

Mikey rolls his eyes. “Only you would be excited about that.”

Gerard bounces on the couch. “Maybe we’ll have to call Ed and Lorraine Warren!”

Mikey snorts and looks at Frank. “You better watch out, Gerard has a big crush on Lorraine.”

Frank wrinkles his nose. “Isn’t she like really old?”

“I’m into her mind, Frank, not her body.”

God, Frank didn’t think that Gerard admitting to being in love with an elderly lady would do it for him, but what the fuck?

Frank pulls Gerard’s hand and meets him halfway between him squeaking and falling face first on the ground with a kiss. While Gerard is really shy and blushes a lot, he sure knows what he wants when it comes to physical stuff. He knows how to kiss, how to take what he wants but also give and give and give. 

Frank pulls away first and just rests his forehead against Gerard’s with a grin.

“So...I guess Lorraine does it for you too?”

Frank and Gerard jump, like they just forgot Mikey was in the living room with them. 

Gerard and Mikey stare at each other for a long time, there’s a lot of eyebrow moving and sighs before Gerard says, “Do you want to go upstairs?”

Frank doesn’t know if he has Mikey to thank for this, not that he thinks it’d be appropriate to thank his brother, but he says, “Sure.”

Gerard takes Frank’s hand and grabs a candle before leading them up the stairs. When they get to his room, Gerard lights the candles in his room, brightening the room in a warm, amber glow. 

He turns around and looks at Frank, looking like a fucking angel with the candle light behind him. It’s the perfect setting, if not a bit cheesy, but Frank thinks cheese can be sort of punk rock if you’re with the right person. 

“Come here,” Gerard whispers.

Frank doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t want Gerard to hesitate, and goes to him, kissing him and walking them back to the bed. The back of Frank’s knees hit the bed and he falls back on it, pulling Gerard over him. He’s not one to really want to take things slow, usually he rushes through sex. Most of the time he’s bone tired and just wants to have a somewhat decent orgasm then pass out in an actual bed where he doesn’t have to wake up every hour to make sure someone isn’t going to drive a knife in him. But he takes his time with Gerard, tips his chin up so that he can kiss down his jaw, and takes the time to learn what parts of his neck are the most sensitive. He turns them over so he can undress Gerard like he’s the best Christmas present he’s ever gotten.

Without the haze of alcohol, Gerard covers himself. Frank thinks Gerard is beautiful. He loves that he’s all soft compared to Frank’s hardness. Loves that his soft belly molds around Frank when he presses against him, that his hips fill his hands when he grabs a hold of them. He pulls Gerard’s arms from himself and presses his hands onto the mattress, weaving their fingers together. Gerard blushes and Frank smiles appreciatively at how the blush goes down to his chest, flushing his pretty pale skin pink. Frank leans down and kisses his unblemished skin, licks over a nipple and wraps his lips around it when Gerard gasps and arches against him. 

“So beautiful,” Frank murmurs, circling his tongue around it once more before kissing down his belly.

“Fuck, Frank,” Gerard whimpers. 

Frank loses himself in Gerard’s pants, his gasps, his whimpers and Frank presses his lips to every inch of Gerard’s body. He scrapes his teeth on the curve of his foot, licks the back of his knee, brushes his lips against his hip. 

“Please.”

Frank presses his nose against Gerard’s coarse hair. “Please, what?” He whispers, wanting to draw it out of Gerard. He wants to push him, he’s dizzy off of it. Wants to see Gerard let go. 

Gerard wiggles under him, trying to push into Frank, but Frank holds his hips down. He looks up at Gerard, holds his gaze for a moment before licking up Gerard. Base to head, just once, just to watch Gerard’s eyes roll in the back of his head and whimper, “Please, please, please, Frank, please.”

If Frank wasn’t already committed, he would have given in right then and there, but he wanted to hear how far Gerard would go. How long he would wait until he finally cracked and just let Frank pick up the pieces for him. He wanted to see if he was allowed to do this, if this was too soon.

Because it was really soon, and Frank doesn’t know if it’s just because sex has lost all it’s meaning to him that he’s in this position already with Gerard. And not that this is meaningless. It’s more that he hasn’t felt this raw need in so long. He hasn’t felt that wound tight cord bound in his belly wind tighter and tighter. He forgot that sex could even be like this, that it could make him warm and buzzing, light headed and breathless. 

“Tell me,” Frank begs. 

“Suck me, touch me, _fuck_ me,” Gerard babbles, arching his hips up against Frank’s hands and Frank groans, surging up to kiss him. “Frank, please,” Gerard begs against his lips. 

Frank crawls down and takes Gerard into his mouth, taking his time to lick up the length first. Frank likes sex dirty and sloppy, and he loves to feel his spit on his chin, especially if it’s going to be mixed with come soon. He swallows Gerard down, relaxing when he feels him hit the back of his throat, just letting himself get absorbed into Gerard’s moan. 

Frank settles into the rhythm of it. Of the movement, the slick slide of his tongue against Gerard, his intake of breath, Gerard’s gasp, hips trembling, thighs shaking, Gerard’s hands in his hair, pulling, pulling, pulling. Then.

“Frank--” Gerard warns, but Frank just takes him as deep as he can and swallows, pulling up only to taste the saltiness of Gerard at the end. 

Frank doesn’t have time to watch Gerard come down because he’s being pulled down and kissed, and Gerard’s hand is wrapped around him. Frank’s so hard from blowing him,if he could think, he’d feel embarrassed at the how much he’s already leaking when Gerard starts his rhythm, much quicker than Frank’s and he has to pull away from Gerard’s kiss to just rest his forehead against Gerard’s erratic heart and fucking breathe. Because it’s too much, he keeps bucking into Gerard’s hand, and then Gerard is pulling on Frank’s hair to pull him up so that they lock eyes. Gerard only gets a few more strokes in before Frank is erupting, head bowed and eyes screwed tight as he coats Gerard’s stomach. 

He’s about to roll off to the side, but Gerard wraps his legs around Frank and pulls him down. Frank doesn’t even care that he’s getting glued to Gerard with his own cum. Gerard runs his sticky fingers though Frank’s hair, and Frank’s mind wanders to candlelit showers. 

*

Mikey dropped out of school pretty much as soon as he started. Their parents had been upset by it because Mikey was a really smart kid, but Gerard knew that school wasn’t his thing. 

Mikey was smarter than anyone he knew, but he hated having to prove that he was smart to people that he didn’t care about. He liked having intellectual conversations with his friends after a show, in the dim lighting of street lights as they sat on hoods of cars and passed back a liquor bottle. 

And Gerard thought Mikey was one of those rare kids that was not only book smart, but street smart too. He could read people right away, was able to tell the liars from friends and got Gerard out of trouble way too many times to count. So Gerard is really confused when Mikey is so stupid when it comes to dating. 

He thinks part of it is his fault. He was always so hard on himself and had really low self esteem, issues that Mikey heard over and over in his own mind. Gerard just wished he knew if the voice he heard was his or Mikey’s. Or if it really mattered. 

“Have you tried calling him?” Gerard asks softly, pushing his foot against his in the tub.

Mikey’s sitting in there wearing the same hoodie he’s had on for three days and jeans that Gerard is pretty sure haven’t seen a washing machine in months. Mikey glares at him under his greasy hair. 

“No,” Gerard breathes, “Of course not. You’re just sitting here torturing yourself.”

“You’d do the same thing.”

“You’re supposed to be better than me.”  
  


“Says who?”  
  


“It's the laws of nature. Little brothers are supposed to be better than their big brothers.”

“Must have missed that.”

Gerard sighs and reaches out to run his fingers through Mikey’s dirty hair. “You need a shower.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“So defensive today.”

“I just think it’s a bit odd that you’re offering me relationship advice when your guy snuck out of here before the sun was even up,” Mikey says, leaning back against the lip of the tub.

Gerard shrugs and crosses his arms. Frank was gone when Gerard woke up this morning but there was no note. Gerard had sat up in his bed for a long time, replaying the night to see if he missed some kind of sign. 

Frank had peeled himself off Gerard with his nose wrinkled and Gerard giggled as he led them to the bathroom. Gerard lit candles around the sink so that they could see, but it was still dark enough that they giggled everytime Gerard knocked bottles of soap off the ledge of the shower. And then Frank had washed Gerard off with his soapy hands, taking breaks to give him kisses. Gerard smiled and leaned into him when Frank worked the shampoo into his hair, taking his time to scratch gently at his scalp and work his fingers into the base of his skull. And Frank let Gerard take his time washing him, looking at the way the suds moved over his tattoos. He hovered over a jagged scar on his right side. Frank just nipped at Gerard’s jaw when he hesitated too long and so Gerard moved to wash his shoulders. 

Afterwards, they laid back out on the bed, getting them damp. Gerard rested his head on Frank’s chest, fingers brushing over the scar. “Are you going to tell me about this?” He had whispered.

“Maybe another day,” Frank replied quietly.

Gerard hated secrets, not because it made him feel skeeved out. He just was curious, wanted to know everything about Frank already. And especially this, he wanted to know the darker parts of Frank too. He wasn’t afraid. 

But maybe Frank was.

“Maybe he had to be at work,” Gerard reasons.  
  


Mikey raises an eyebrow. “Did he leave a note?”

_No._

Mikey sighs and shifts so that he can lean into Gerard. Gerard pulls him into a hug, squeezing him like a teddy bear and sighing into his hair. 

“We’re a couple of losers,” Mikey huffs.

Gerard snorts. 

_At least we have each other._

“Lame,” Mikey teases.

But Gerard feels warmth in his heart that he knows doesn’t belong to just him. 

*

“What do I tell him?” Frank mutters.

“That you like him?” Ray says in an incredulous tone, leaning on the counter. 

Frank is knocking the cobwebs off the fans for Ray so that he can rotate them for winter. Frank hates this time of year. Living on the streets is always the worst during winter for obvious reasons. It makes his bones ache and his nose run almost constantly. But the worst part was always spending the holidays alone or in the depressing rec room in Hambone’s group home. 

Frank usually opted to walk the streets by himself.

“And when he wants to come over to ‘my place’?” Frank huffs, “Do I show him the fucking tube I sleep in?”  
  


“You sleep in a tube?”

Frank rolls his eyes. He doesn’t know if he should tell Ray that most of the time he finds a bed, not that Ray would judge. Though, he might look even sadder than he does right now and Frank really can’t take that. 

“This is why I don’t date,” Frank continues.

“He sounds really awesome though.”

“Oh, he really is,” Frank agrees, thinking back to how cute Gerard looked curled on top of his Speed Racer sheets and drooling a little on his pillow. Frank hated that he had to leave him in the morning, but he couldn’t miss meeting up with Hambone. And then along the walk Frank’s mind went into freakout mode once he realized what dating Gerard would look like. And what it couldn’t look like because there was so much that Frank couldn’t offer him. 

“Then what’s the problem? Is it his brother?”

“Mikey? No, he’s great.”

“Well?”  
  


“Ray, come on man, I’m homeless. I don’t have a lot to offer.”

“What about your winning smile?”

Frank snorts, “Yeah, ok.”

“Hey, now that you’ve officially told me you’re homeless--”

“No.”

“But--”

“No.”

“Ok.”

Frank had put off not telling Ray because he didn’t want Ray to help him out more than he already does. He didn’t want anyone taking care of him. 

Ever since he killed his parents, Frank had accepted this kind of life he lived as his consequence. 

*

The Way house is a very depressing place to be lately. Gerard’s called sick on Thursday and Friday to get drunk with Mikey in their house. They watched _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and ate ravioli from a can in the living room in the dark since Gerard still hasn’t gotten the lights fixed yet. 

And while Gerard was pretty bummed about Frank not leaving a note or his number so that Gerard could see him again, Mikey is doing worse. Mikey and Pete had been inseparable all summer, and Gerard isn’t sure if he had ever seen Mikey smile as much as he did with Pete. 

But then fall came around and Pete went off to play with his band, leaving Mikey home glued to his phone. 

The first week was the worst because Gerard felt like he was drowning under all of Mikey’s despair, he felt the tears leaking out of Mikey’s eyes like they were falling down his own cheeks. Felt his own heart ache like Pete had punched him in the chest. And then Mikey had gotten the flu and it was just the week from fucking hell. Gerard was happy that he could put Mikey under with all the cold medicine so that at least he could sleep off his fever and heartbreak at the same time. 

He sat up with him and fed him chicken noodle soup and told him stories of superheroes that went around beating up bad boyfriends to make Mikey smile in between his coughs. But Mikey eventually got better, and his heart mended enough that he could at least get out of bed. 

But it didn’t stop the winter blues from coming to hit them. 

Gerard pulls Mikey down so that he’s laying against his chest and drapes the blanket over them. Mikey feels like ice and he wonders how long he’s been this cold and hasn’t been able to feel it. Gerard’s been there. Where the sadness robs you of any feeling.

_I’ve got you._

Gerard rubs Mikey’s back for comfort and to create some warmth against his chilled skin.

_I know._

Their mom calls every other week on Sundays on the house phone. Mikey always shoves the phone in Gerard’s hands and shakes his head. 

_I can’t talk to her._

And so Gerard would tell her about his last two weeks. Let’s her know that he hasn’t killed anyone at work yet. That, yes, he made sure to call the guys to clean out the gutters. No, he’s not drinking much. And then he’ll tell her that Mikey is doing great and tries to ignore Mikey’s glare. 

_Liar._

And then Gerard will listen to his mom talk about the latest gossip from her book club and how his dad still hasn’t noticed that she switched the ground beef to turkey in most of their meals. 

Gerard knows that taking care of Mikey and listening to his mom’s suburban stories is his way of hiding from his own issues, but he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do. 

*

Frank is having a shit week. 

First his bag gets picked up by the trashman and so now he’s out of clothes. And the last thing he wore was to the venue which was nothing but his worn pair of jeans and a white cotton long-sleeved shirt. No coat, because why would he wear that to a show?

Then, because he doesn’t want Ray to find out all his belongings are gone he stops showing up around the shop which means he doesn’t have money to go to shows. Which means he doesn’t find random hookups to go home with. 

So, Frank gets a nasty cold because he’s sleeping in a tube by the damn quarry in Jersey November. Also, he’s Frank Iero, owner of the worst immune system ever. 

“You look like shit,” Hambone says. 

“Tanks,” Frank says, voice funny with his clogged up nose. 

“Come on, you’re coming to the rec center with me,” Hambone says, putting his arm around him and trying to pull him towards the group home.

“I’m feen,” he says, pulling away, “I’ll see ew tomorrow.”

Hambone sighs, but watches Frank walk off because he knows that dragging him to the rec center would just make things worse. Frank doesn’t have much anymore, he’s not going to take away his pride too.

That’s kind of all shot to hell when he hears, “ _Frank_?”

Fuck.  
  


He thinks about ducking down an alley, maybe hiding in a dumpster if he’s really desperate. He knows that Gerard isn’t that into him to crawl after him in a dumpster, though his hair makes Frank second guess that logic. 

But then he hears a car door shut and footsteps. 

“Frank, what the hell happened to you?”  
  


And Frank shudders because he really thought that maybe Hambone was exaggerating, but maybe not. Frank turns and it fucking hurts his head to look up and get an eyeful of sunlight. But he also gets an eyeful of Gerard, so maybe it’s an even trade. He’s bundled up in a peacoat and like a million scarfs, his tiny pink nose poking out on top of a grey and black striped scarf. His eyes are bright, but his eyebrows are high in surprise and his mouth is turned down.

“Hey,” Frank croaks, though he tries to sound cheerful, and then he starts coughing.

Gerard puts an arm around him and pats his back gently. “Hey, you should be inside, you look like death.”

“Tanks.”

“No, really. Can I take you to a doctor?”

Frank shakes his head, then groans at how it seems to shuffle all the snot in his head and push more pressure over his eyes. He leans into Gerard because he’s fucking weak and these last few days have been awful. Gerard hums and puts his other arm around Frank, pulling him into a full hug. Frank sighs, he’s so warm in Gerard’s embrace. 

“Alright, honey, let’s get you somewhere warm,” Gerard coos softly.

Frank just nods, because really he feels like he’s melting into Gerard and would do anything he says. He lets Gerard lead him to his car that’s idling next to the curb where they’re standing. Gerard blasts the heat and takes off his coat before draping it over Frank. 

“Gerard you don’t--”

“Shh,” Gerard says, “None of that, I’m taking you back to my place...is that ok?”

Very, very ok.

Nights when Frank was laying in his tunnel, he’d pretend he was in the Way house instead. He’d pretend he was laying in Gerard’s warm bed with candles all around him. He would make himself think that he could hear Mikey walking around the house, listening to the tv playing down the stairs. 

Frank nods even though Gerard is already driving them in the direction of his house, which isn’t very far. It only takes a few songs from the radio to play before they’re pulling up to the house. Gerard comes around to help Frank out of his car like he’s some wilted flower, but he does feel dizzy when he stands up. Frank’s just going to shut up and let Gerard help him. 

They pass Mikey’s questioning look and go up the stairs to Gerard’s room. Gerard walks him backwards into the room and unbuttons his jeans.  
  


“Not going to be able to get it up,” Frank slurs, “M’surry to disappoint.”

Gerard smiles like he’s trying to hold in a laugh and shakes his head. “Just want to get you into some dry and warm clothes. What did you do? Go swimming in a swamp with these?”

“Scuba diver,” Frank shrugs as he steps out of his jeans.

“Ha ha,” Gerad says dryly, then he pulls Frank’s shirt off and frowns at all the grim on him. 

“Think you can stand if I get you in the shower?”

Frank shakes his head. 

Gerard sighs, “Bath? A nice warm bath would probably feel really nice…”

Frank leans forward to rest his forehead against Gerard’s chest and nods. 

Gerard rubs in between his shoulder blades. “Yeah, I thought so. Let’s go.”

Gerard pulls him into the bathroom and sits Frank on the closed toilet lid while he starts the water. Frank grins a little when Gerard adds bubbles, making the whole bathroom smell floral.

“Alright, up,” Gerard whispers, and hums when Frank listens. He peels off Frank’s boxers then helps him step into the tub without slipping. 

Frank sighs loudly when he lays out under the warm water, his bones going completely limp after being frozen for so long. Gerard leans over the edge, stroking his face. “Better?”

Frank nods and closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the lip of the tub. Gerard doesn’t say much else, just washes Frank’s hair and works through the knots that have tangled his strands. He adds conditioner even and just massages the back of Frank’s neck as he lets it sit. Frank almost wants to cry at how gentle Gerard is being with him. How he scoops up the water in a plastic cup and pours it slowly over his hair, holding his other hand over his eyes like a shield. Frank can’t remember the last time someone gave him a bath, can’t even think of a time when someone was so caring with him. 

After a while, Frank closes his eyes and it’s hard to open them again. “Hey, Frankie, let’s get you into bed,” Gerard whispers. 

Frank nods and let’s Gerard help him out, let’s him wrap him in a towel and dry him before dressing him in baggy flannel pajamas. He leans against Gerard as they walk back to his room and Frank just about falls face first into the bed. 

“Does he have a fever?” 

“I should have taken it before the bath.”

“Yeah, probably, dumbass.”

“He was caked in dirt, Mikey.”

“What happened to him?”  
  


“I don’t know…”

“He’ll be ok, Gee. You’re a great nurse, you took care of me.”  
  


Gerard snorts. Then, “Can you stay with him while I go get some cold medicine from the pharmacy?”

“Of course.”

Then there’s a cold hand on his back, moving slowly in a circle and patting whenever Frank starts to cough. “You’re going to be ok,” Mikey says softly, “Gee will take care of you. We both will.”

*

When Gerard gets back, Mikey is sitting on the edge of the bed with half a cup of orange juice in his hand. 

“He drank a little, but then went right back to sleep,” Mikey says.

Gerard frowns and sits on the other side of the bed, pressing the back of his hand to Frank, his frown deepening when he feels how hot Frank is. He rubs Frank’s chest, “Frankie, I need you to take this medicine.”

Frank makes a pained face and goes to move onto his side, but Gerard holds him in place. “I know, but you can go right back to sleep.”

Frank sighs and opens his eyes, squinting since the room is only lit by candles again. Mikey helps Frank sit up while Gerard pours some cold medicine into a little plastic measuring cup. He holds it to Frank’s lips and tilts it back, whispering, “I know it sucks,” when he winces at the taste. Gerard pushes him back against the pillows, leaving him propped up a bit to help lessen his congestion. He unbuttons the top few buttons of his pajama shirt and rubs the Vicks on his chest, smiling a little when Frank sighs and closes his eyes. 

_Let him sleep_

Gerard sighs and gets up to follow Mikey out of the room. Mikey nudges Gerard towards his room. “I’m going to put this in the sink, then I’ll be back up.”

_Ok_

Gerard crawls into Mikey’s bed, smiles at the fact that Mikey’s bed feels as familiar as his own. Loves that he’s seen these pink floral sheets since they were kids, that the pattern is so worn that he can barely distinguish the petals anymore. 

Seeing Frank on the street had spooked him, Gerard thought he was looking at a ghost. Frank was so pale, his face sunken a little bit and bags hanging under his eyes. His hair was matted and his shirt, that he assumed must have been white at some point, was grimey with Gerard doesn’t even want to know what. And he wasn’t wearing a coat and as they were getting more into November, it was way too cold to be outside without a coat. 

“I checked on him again and he’s out like a light,” Mikey says softly, coming in. He leaves the door wide open so that they’ll be able to hear if Frank wakes up, then climbs into bed next to Gerard. Gerard shifts so that he can hold Mikey against his chest. Mikey pulls the blankets up and finds the perfect position where they fit together, like a mold that was broken in half. 

Sometimes Gerard thinks that they aren’t even two separate people. Gerard liked to think that when they were just floating together as stars in the cosmos, they were actually just one being, the same cluster of stars sharing their existence together. He liked to think that they were just too great to be formed into one person, that it wouldn’t be fair to the world to only have one MikeyGerard, so they were split into two. Gerard used to tell Mikey this story when they were kids and Mikey was feeling the pains of being the odd one out of school. 

_Thinking about stars again?_

Gerard grins.

_Always_

Mikey hums and settles against him, his breathing getting a little heavier and Gerard knows he’ll be asleep pretty soon.

“Seeing Frank like that really spooked you, didn’t it?” Mikey whispers, making Gerard jump a little.

Gerard’s hold on Mikey tightens a little, because, yeah, seeing Frank laying in his bed made Gerard think of Mikey in the similar situation. How Mikey’s frail body seemed so small under all the blankets Gerard had piled on him. Mikey just kept whimpering that he was cold, and Gerard tried everything, he even got a space heater and plugged it in by Mikey’s bed. 

“Cold, Gee,” Mikey had whispered everytime Gerard went to press his hand to Mikey’s forehead. 

Gerard wiped the sweat off Mikey’s face with warm washcloths, sat him up so he could change his damp shirt every so often and rubbed Vicks on his chest. It took days for Mikey to be able to eat even soup, he just didn’t have the appetite and would whine whenever Gerard tried to push spoonfuls of soup against his lips. Gerard hated how wheezy he had gotten, how it seemed like such a chore to just breathe. Gerard took days off work and sat with him in bed, retelling him episodes of Buffy since he was too weak to get down the steps to watch tv in the living room with Gerard. And when things got particularly bad, Gerard would tell him stories of stars again. 

“Yeah,” Gerard finally answers Mikey.

Mikey rubs Gerard’s side. “I’m still here,” he reminds him, because it had gotten that bad. He didn’t tell his mom during their phone calls because he didn’t want to admit that it was that dire. And he couldn’t take Mikey to the hospital, they didn’t have health insurance and Gerard was freaking out about what that would mean for them. And he didn’t know the first thing about hospitals or what he was supposed to do when there was an emergency. He knew he was supposed to call 911, but he also knew that being on the poor side of living meant that he didn’t always get that luxury.

“Just a cold,” Mikey wheezed, “No hospital.”

Gerard wasn’t sure when they reached the seven day mark and threatened to take him to the hospital the next day if his fever didn’t break. He laid in bed with Mikey that night, squeezing him tight and pressing his face into Mikey’s warm neck. He just kept thinking that Mikey had to get better, that Gerard wasn’t even sure who he was without Mikey. 

There had been a moment where Gerard thought he felt Mikey slip away. Where that pull in his mind that held Mikey to him went slack and Gerard reached for him, begged and begged God, the universe, anyone or thing that was listening to not take him away from him. 

And then the next day, Mikey was just better. His fever must have broken sometime in the middle of the night when Gerard was asleep. Mikey even let Gerard peel the mountain of blankets off of him and sit him up so he could eat an entire bowl of soup.

“That’s what we like to see,” Gerard had praised when he scraped the bottom of the bowl with the spoon and held it out to Mikey. He helped Mikey out of bed and was amazed that he was able to stand on his own, after seeing him so tired and weak in bed for days, it nearly brought him to tears to see Mikey just _standing_. 

He sat on the bathroom floor while Mikey took a shower, scared of leaving him alone for too long. But he recovered quickly. He dressed in his normal skinny jeans and band tees, started flat ironing his hair again and Mikey just looked like himself again. But it took Gerard a long time to be able to look at Mikey and not feel that same dread he had that night when their bond, or whatever it was that held them together, broke for a moment. 

_I’m still here_

Gerard hugs Mikey.

_I know_

*

“Your fever is down,” Gerard murmurs, removing his hand from Frank’s forehead, letting it caress his cheek before removing it. 

Frank smiles sheepishly at him. “Thank you, you didn’t have to take care of me.”

Gerard shakes his head. “You were almost dead on your feet,” he says, then he hesitates and picks at a loose thread on the comforter that’s over Frank, “What were you doing outside while you were sick? And without a coat?”

Frank doesn’t say anything, so Gerard looks up at him and raises his eyebrow. He knows that look, the one that is calculating a lie. “Tell me the truth, Frankie, what were you doing outside? Did you not have anyone to get you medicine? You could have called--oh well I guess you didn’t have my number, but--”

“--I’m homeless.”

Gerard snaps his mouth shut, his teeth clacking together and he winces a bit. “Homeless?”

Frank rolls his eyes and looks away. “Yeah,” he mutters.

_He needs to stay here_

Gerard smiles a little. Mikey is so maternal when he wants to be, he has such a hard time seeing anyone suffer. It’s one of the things that he loves most about his brother. 

“Mikey wants you to stay with us,” Gerard says gently.

Frank looks back at Gerard with his brows furrowed. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” 

Frank sits up and swings his legs out from under the blankets. “Look, thanks for taking care of me last night, but I should be going.”

Gerard pushes him back against the pillows, which isn’t hard because Frank doesn’t have most of his strength back. “Just…” Gerard sighs, “Please stay, at least until you’re better.”

Frank sighs and closes his eyes. “I just…”

Gerard hums and leans down to kiss his forehead, which isn’t as hot as it was last night, “I know, accepting help is hard.”

Frank grasps Gerard’s shirt gently. “You have no idea.”

Gerard pulls back slightly, so he can look Frank in the eyes. “You can tell me.”

_Careful_

Frank purses his lips, like he’s considering, before shaking his head. “Not yet.”

Gerard nods. “Ok,” he agrees.

*

Frank had originally planned on staying just another day, maybe two at the most, but Mikey had been sitting against the front door when Frank tried to sneak out after Gerard left for work. 

“Going somewhere?” Mikey said with a shit eating grin.

Frank had just rolled his eyes and let Mikey make him breakfast. And it really wasn’t bad at all. It felt like a home. He liked to walk down the steps slowly to look at the photos that were hung up. Photos of Mikey and Gerard when they were kids among their family. He forgot sometimes that they must have other family, because it seemed like Mikey and Gerard were such a unit. 

“That’s Elena,” Mikey said one day when he caught Frank on the stairs again.

Frank was staring at an old fashion photo of a woman that shares some likeness to the brothers. “Oh?”

“Yeah, this is, I mean was, her house. She left it to me and Gerard.”

“Wow,” he whispered, “Gerard told me about her. She sounds like she was great.”

“She was,” Mikey said softly, in the same tone that Gerard had used. 

The house had a lot of quirks too that Frank felt was endearing. The wiring was totally shot. Not only had Gerard still not fixed the lights, he just kept buying candles and putting it off, but now the TV would randomly shut off or all the clocks would reset. Frank knew it was an old house, but it was also really drafty and he’d randomly get really cold. He was starting to understand why Gerard bundled up so much and why Mikey’s hands were always ice cold.

And then at nights when Gerard would come home, they would sit in the living room and watch Buffy or they’d play video games until one of them started dozing off. Gerard slept in Mikey’s room while Frank was recovering, wanting him to have his space. And after Frank was well enough to be able to stand without feeling like he was going to pass out, he walked around Gerard’s room at night. He peeked through the sketchbooks on the desk, spending time tracing his fingers over the lines and smiling when he saw a sketch of himself. He leafed through some of the books he found, and he stayed up way too late one night reading when he found his comic collection. 

Gerard pokes in one night while Frank is looking through his yearbook. “Hey,” he says softly.

Frank jumps and starts to hide the yearbook, but it’s a bit late for that. “If it makes you feel better, your picture is way better than mine.”

Gerard shakes his head with a grin and takes the yearbook from him and sits down on the bed. “So…”

Frank grins. “So?”  
  


Gerard blushes. Frank noticed that the longer he spent time with Gerard, the more he was able to get him to talk without him hiding behind his insecurities. And being around Mikey helped. Frank noticed that Gerard was almost an entirely different person when Mikey was around, it was like he had a thicker backbone, that he stood straighter and could look Frank in the eyes when he talked. 

And Frank can’t really fault Gerard for feeling uncertain in this moment. Hell, even Frank felt uncertain. He wasn’t sure what to make of this muddled relationship, if that was the right word. The order of things were all jumbled, that this was not a normal progression of dating, at least from what Frank remembered. But from what he learned from spending the last week with Gerard, Gerard didn’t really do things normally. 

Gerard leans forward and kisses Frank. Frank pulls Gerard up to him so that they can lay out on the bed together. Gerard smiles shyly and nips at Frank’s bottom lip, making Frank giggle like he’s fucking sixteen. He strokes Gerard’s cheek and leans back in for another kiss. He’s missed this. Just quiet cute moments like this. Warm in a bed with a full belly. With a sweet guy to kiss and his equally amazing brother to hang out with. 

Gerard is starting to pull at Frank’s shirt, coaxing him to sit up when there’s a loud crash. Gerard goes still for a moment, eyes focused on something beyond Frank. 

“Gee?” Frank whispers, because the blank look on Gerard is starting to freak him out. Then Gerard bolts from the bed and he hears his footsteps bouncing to Mikey’s room. Frank follows out the bedroom and hesitates outside of Mikey’s room. 

Mikey is sobbing in bed, Gerard sits next to him and pulls him into his arms. “Shh, shh, I’ve got you,” Gerard murmurs, kissing his temple and rocking him. “Right here. You’re ok.”

Frank knows that he should probably leave, that this is a personal moment for the two of them, but he just can’t. There’s something about them that he doesn’t really understand, hasn’t ever seen between two people before. 

“No, it’s ok,” Gerard says, almost like he’s answering something that Mikey hasn’t even said, “Look at what he lost. You’re perfect, Mikeyway, don’t....no, don’t say stuff like that.”

Frank feels his face twist in confusion, wonders what he’s missing.

Mikey hiccups, his sobs quieting to soft whimpers. Gerard keeps stroking his back, cheeks, hair and wipes his tears. “You’re not alone, Mikes, not ever….yeah, the stars, that’s right.”  
  
Mikey chuckles a little, wiping his cheeks and then he sees Frank standing there and his eyes widden. Frank swears softly, thinking maybe he should go hide back in Gerard’s room and leave them be, but he’s already been spotted so he says, “Hey, are you ok?”

Gerard looks up and holds Frank’s gaze for a moment, then searches his face like he’s trying to see if Frank is a threat to Mikey or not. He almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of it, but he takes in the way Gerard holds his arms around Mikey as if he’s shielding him away, of the way he’s talking lowly against Mikey’s ear, and Frank knows that there’s more at play here. He’s clearly missing something. 

“Ok,” Gerard says slowly, all defenses dropping and he looks like his Gerard again, “Come in.”

Frank’s almost scared to walk into the bedroom, unsure what he’s walking in on. When he walks through the door, he sees what made the initial noise. A huge oak bookshelf is horizontal on the floor, a few books on the floor that scattered.

“Mikey’s going through some serious heartbreak,” Gerard explains.

  
Frank’s still starting at the bookshelf. “What happened here?”  
  


“I don’t know,” Mikey says softly, “it’s what woke me up.”

  
Frank frowns and walks over to the bookshelf, looking at it and the wall. There wasn’t any incline in the floor, no warped back of the bookshelf that would have made it unbalanced. “It just fell over?”

Gerard looks at Mikey expectantly, and he just shrugged. “Maybe we really are haunted.”

Gerard grins. “Time to call Loriane.”

Frank snorts and walks over to them on the bed. He eyes Mikey, takes in his red and glassy eyes. “Are you going to be ok?”

Mikey shrugs. “Can’t die of a broken heart can you?”

Gerard smiles gently at him and looks at him, Mikey raises his eyebrow then nods. 

“You guys have to stop doing that,” Frank says, “It’s getting creepy.”

*

“Jesus, I thought you died,” Hambone says, pulling him into a hug, “I haven’t seen you in a week. I checked with the hospitals and you hadn’t been admitted and--”  
  


“Easy, bud, I’m ok. It was just a cold,” Frank chuckles, hugging him back. 

Hambone pulls back and takes in Frank’s clothes. They’re Gerard’s. He’s been living in his clothes since the ones he came in were pretty much destroyed. And Frank refused to let Gerard buy him new clothes. The downside is that Gerard wears mostly novelty t-shirts. The one he has on now has a hamster on it, at least he can cover it up with the coat jacket that Mikey let him borrow. 

When Frank left this morning, he had tried to get Mikey to come with him. “Look, I’m much better now, it’s been a week and I have to meet a friend.”

Mikey gave him a skeptical look. “A friend.”

Frank sighed and told him about Hambone because he figured that honestly was the best policy here. And he hoped that maybe if Frank was open, the Ways would tell him whatever secret they were keeping. 

“Do you want to meet him? You kinda look like you need to get out of the house,” Frank had said. The whole week Frank was recovering, Mikey never left the house and after a while Frank was pretty convinced it wasn’t just so he could babysit Frank. 

Mikey had just huddled into himself and shook his head. “I’m ok.”

Frank hesitated by the door. “I’ll only be gone for a couple hours,” he told him and smiled at how Mikey’s eyes lit up a little. He wondered how long it had been since he had anyone to talk to during the day.

“I’m staying with a friend of mine,” Frank explains to Hambone. 

“Friend?” Hambone says with a grin.

Frank rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

After Hambone catches him up on the week he missed, he heads to Ray’s and is met with an equally enthusiastic greeting. Frank thinks that maybe he should go missing for a week more often. Ray hugs him tightly, “You had me so worried. I hadn’t seen you for almost two weeks.”

“I was sick,” Frank explains.

“You could have come by, I would have taken you to a doctor. Where did you stay? Please tell me you found some place to stay and you didn’t sit outside sick.”

“No, um, Gerard took care of me.”

Ray pulls back and grins. “Oh, Gerard, huh?”

Frank blushes. “Shut up.”

  
Ray takes him in and Frank knows that he’s a little surprised by how good Frank looks right now. He’s probably the cleanest he’s been in a year, and he can’t remember the last time he had a coat on. But, because it’s Ray, he doesn’t say anything about it. He just smiles and points towards the back. “Want to help me sort the delivery?”

Frank is always thankful for the tasks that Ray gives him, it gets him doing something that doesn’t just feel like he’s wasting time. And it’s a little mindless, so his mind wanders. He finds a stack of Buffy comics and he puts a few aside for Mikey. Which just makes him think about the bookshelf again. 

“You look like you’re sucking on a lemon,” Ray says, clicking around on his computer. 

Frank hesitates before asking, “Do you believe in ghosts?”

Ray closes out of the inventory screen he was working on and turns his full attention to Frank. “Absolutely.”  
  
Frank blinks. “Wait, really?” Because Ray seemed like such a logical kind of guy. He went to school for engineering before his dad had that horrible fall and he needed to be home to take care of him. He was all math and formulas. Why he worked in a comic book store still surprised Frank, but he guesses that Ray just didn’t grow out of his nerd phase either. 

“Yeah,” Ray says, then he shifts a little and fuck, is that a blush?

Frank sets the box he was going through aside and laughs a little. “Dude, what gives?”

“I kinda am obsessed with ghosts,” Ray mumbles. 

Frank feels his eyes grow wide and his smile has got to be full of fucking teeth at this point. “Are you kidding? Like do you have a little radio thing that tells you where a ghost is?”  
  


“It’s called an EMF,” Ray mutters.

Frank howls. “Oh my God! Do you have--”

“Ok, does this conversation have a point?” Ray sighs.

Frank lets himself just stare at Ray with a smile for a moment longer, earning him a scowl from Ray. “Ok, ok,” Frank says, waving his hands, “I’m pretty sure Gerard’s house is haunted.”

Ray tilts his head. “Why?”

“Well all the lights just went out one night,” Frank says, remembering, then adds, “but only the lights. Anything that was plugged into the outlets still had power.”

Ray nods. “That’s weird…”

“And sometimes there’s random cold spots,” Frank recalls, thinking back to his week at the Way house, “But I thought it was just because it’s an old house, and then there’d be other power issues, like the tv going wonky. Um, then the other night Mikey’s bookshelf just fell over.”

“It fell over?”

“Yeah, I looked around and I mean, I’m not not sure, but it didn’t look like anything would have made it fall on it’s own. It had to be pushed over,” Frank says.

Ray nods again and he clasps his hands together. “Frank, dude, you _have_ to let me check this place out. This sounds _awesome_.”

*

It really didn’t take much convincing to let Ray come over. Gerard was bouncing up and down, clapping his hands like a one of those girls from My Super Sweet Sixteen. Mikey really likes to watch reality tv during the day.

“Do you think we’ll have to do an exorcism?” Gerard asks Frank, tugging on his sleeve when Ray pulls up to the house. 

“We don’t want there to be an exorcism,” Mikey drawls, leaning against the doorframe, “That would mean someone is possessed.”

Gerard nods, but his eyes are a little less excited. “Right, “ he sighs, “That would be bad.”

Frank grins at him and puts an arm around him, “I bet it will still be cool.” Gerard beams at him and leans against him. 

Frank is still trying to figure out what exactly they are. And things just got weirder since he’s technically living with him already. He knows he should probably head out, but Gerard doesn’t seem to mind. And Frank really likes to hang out with Mikey during the day. They’ll sit in the living room and watch MTV all day. Sometimes they’ll mess around on Mikey’s bass. Frank still tries to get Mikey to leave the house, but the panic in his eyes always makes him give in and just promise that he’ll be back in a few hours.

And Gerard doesn’t treat him any different now that he knows that Frank doesn’t have a home. Well, he might once he realizes _why_ Frank doesn’t have a home, but he’s been putting that conversation off for a while. After Frank started to feel better, Gerard stopped sleeping in Mikey’s room.

“Is this ok?” Gerard had asked, laying his head on Frank’s chest, “I can go sleep with Mikey.”

Frank had just held Gerard closer, relishing in the feeling of being held and not just held down. “Yeah, this is perfect.”

Ray has a duffle bag and he’s wearing the biggest smile Frank has ever seen. “Hey,” he says brightly when he gets to them, “I’m Ray.”

Gerard pulls himself from Frank to shake his hand. “Gerard, and this is my brother Mikey.”

Mikey just tilts his chin up slightly, but Ray isn’t put off. He comes inside and sets his bag on the counter. Gerard peers into the bag like an excited four year old. “Wow, you’re like legit then? Look at all this stuff, Mikey!”

Mikey grins and shakes his head, shooting Frank a look. 

Ray blushes. “Oh, well...I’ve been into this for awhile. I don’t know if it makes me legit or whatever.”

“Have you ever seen a real ghost?” Mikey asks.

Ray falters a little and looks into his bag. “Well not like a full apparition or anything. Just whatever the machine catches.”

“Which could have other explanations,” Mikey continues, and Gerard looks at him with narrowed eyes.

Ray shrugs. “I mean sure, but when there’s a lot of evidence, it’s kind of hard to chalk it all up to coincidence.”

Gerard smiles again and Frank half expects him to stick his tongue out at Mikey. They stare at each other for a moment, and after a beat Mikey sighs and says, “Yeah, ok, let’s do this then.”

*

Ray had set up a bunch of thermal cameras throughout the house, saying that they’d be able to tell which figures were them and what would be the ghost. Then he walked around the house with something that looked like a remote control, lit up in random places. 

Gerard is following Ray everywhere, asking him questions throughout the house and telling him about different occurrences that’s happened. Frank’s sitting in the kitchen with a bemused Mikey. 

“He always gets like this,” Mikey says with a fond smile.

“Yeah, he’s really cute when he gets excited about something,” Frank agrees, then cringes a bit when he realizes he’s talking about his brother. 

Mikey laughs. “Don’t worry about it. I like seeing him happy,” he says, watching Gerard gasp when Ray showed him something on whatever device he was using now, “It’s been hard for him. Ever since Elena died, he kinda lost that spark he had when we were younger.”

Frank watches Gerard giggle when Ray lets him hold the EMF and walk around the living room. Frank never really thought about being in a relationship, he just didn’t think that sort of thing was possible for him. He’s been on his own for so long now, and he had just grown used to it. He knew he didn’t have much to offer. He didn’t have a job, not many places would hire someone without a permanent address and he couldn’t exactly write “tunnel by the quarry” on the address line. And he didn’t have a high school diploma or GED, so, really, what did he have to offer?

Gerard starts towards them, and Frank is almost breathless at Gerard’s smile, “Frankie you have to--” but he stops because as soon as he walks into the kitchen, the device he’s holding goes wild. 

Frank looks at Mikey, who is starting to look a little spooked. Ray rushes over and takes the EMF from Gerard and frowns. He walks out into the hall and it quiets. Then, he walks back into the kitchen and it picks right back up. 

“This is where that light exploded,” Gerard points out.

Ray looks up at the ceiling where the light had broken. He holds the EMF up towards the ceiling and it quiets a little, not as loud as when he had it at their level. He shakes his head, “I don’t think that’s it…” He walks over to Frank and holds the EMF at him. It’s still lit up and beeping, but it doesn’t get any drastically louder. Until Ray holds it to Mikey. Gerard holds his hands over his ears because the thing is _screaming_. Mikey stares at Gerard with wide eyes.

“Maybe Gerard’s going to get that exorcism after all,” Frank mutters.

“Not funny,” Ray whispers, staring at Mikey. He turns the device off. “Have you felt off lately?”

“Off?” Mikey mumbles, staring down at the kitchen table. Gerard comes over and pulls a chair up next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

“He’s been moody,” Gerard whispers, like he’s starting to solve a riddle.

“And he won’t leave the house,” Frank says, ignoring the look of betrayal that Mikey shoots him.

“I just got dumped!” Mikey grumbles, “I’m not possessed, I’m heartbroken.”

“Aww,” Ray says softly.

Mikey rolls his eyes. 

“But, emotional distress can make someone an easy target for possession right?” Gerard asks softly, staring at Mikey.

Ray looks impressed. “Yeah, you’re right, but he shouldn’t be setting off the EMF if he wasn’t possessed or if something wasn’t attached to him.”

“Oh! Like in _Shutter_!” Gerard exclaims, he looks at Mikey with wide eyes, “Do you have a scary Japanese ghost on your back?”

Frank chuckles a little at Mikey rolling his eyes, clearly annoyed with Gerard’s enthusiasm. “You watch way too much tv,” Mikey groans.

Ray’s grinning too, but it falters a little the longer he looks at Mikey. Frank looks back at Mikey, trying to see whatever it is that Ray saw. He just looks like the same Mikey Frank’s been hanging out with all week. Frank looks back at Ray and watches him go into the other room. Mikey and Gerard stop talking and watch after him too. Ray comes back with one of the cameras and points it at Mikey. He stares at the screen with a somber expression, then looks up at Mikey warily. 

“When did this all start?” Ray asks softly, eyes still glued to Mikey.

Gerard looks at Mikey and frowns. “Hmm, in the fall right?”

Mikey pauses, trying to consider, “Yeah, I guess so. It was around when Pete left.”

Gerard nods. “Yeah, that’s when the lights started flickering.”

“Who’s Pete?” Ray asks, looking between them. 

Mikey sighs and gets up, walking to the fridge. Gerard follows him with his eyes, frowning a little, “Exboyfriend,” he whispers.

Mikey’s hand grips on the fridge handle as he holds it open, rummaging through the contents. 

“Oh,” Ray whispers, “Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Mikey grits out, pulling out a soda. And then Ray has to duck in order to miss the cans of soda that come flying out of the fridge. Gerard and Frank hit the floor too, Frank pulls Gerard to him, laying on him so that if anything came at them, it’d hit Frank instead. Frank watches in confusion as the entire contents of the fridge fly out and slam against the walls before sliding down to the floor. 

“What the fuck?” Mikey whispers. 

Gerard crawls from under Frank. “Do you believe me now? Mikey, you’re possessed.”

Frank sits up and looks over at Ray, who’s just looking sadly at the floor. 

Later this will be the moment that Frank would wish that he had cherished. The moment where he didn’t know the truth. Where they’re just sitting on the floor of the kitchen, staring at the egg yolks sliding down the Way’s pale yellow walls. 

The moment that Frank looks back on when he walks Ray back out to his car and Ray puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder. “Frankie,” he says, “Mikey isn’t possessed.”

Frank furrows his brows. “Yeah, but the EMF...was it broken?”

“No, listen to me, Frank,” Ray whispers, looking up the driveway to where Mikey is standing next to Gerard in the doorway.“Mikey’s dead.”

*

Gerard’s wiping down the walls with a wet washcloth when Frank comes back in. Gerard stood in the doorway with Mikey for a while, just watching Frank and Ray talk until he sighed and said, “better go clean up the kitchen.” 

_You go lay down_

Mikey snorted. “I don’t think you can sleep off possession.”

“Ray says you’re not possessed,” Gerard said. 

Mikey shrugged. 

_Please_

He sighed, “Fine, but can we order chinese tonight?”

Gerard nodded and waited until Mikey had walked up the stairs before filling a mop bucket up with hot, soapy water. He hasn’t felt this helpless since Mikey got sick. Gerard sighed and scrubbed the ketchup mark on the cabinet. He was the worst big brother ever, he’s pretty sure keeping Mikey safe from possession was pretty high up there on the list of big brother duties. 

“Hey,” Frank whispers now, shaking Gerard out of his thoughts.

Gerard drops the washcloth into the mop bucket and comes over to him. Frank holds his arms open and Gerard falls into them, pulling on Frank’s shirt a little. 

“Shh,” Frank murmurs, “I’ve got you.”

Gerard didn’t even realize he was crying until Frank said something, but now he can’t stop. He just feels like such a failure. Keeping Mikey safe was his job. Helping him get through this world was on Gerard. And now Mikey’s been refusing to leave the house and has made some kind of ghost enemy. Who apparently likes to fuck with their tv and have food fights. 

Gerard sniffles. “Did Ray tell you how to help Mikey?”

Frank doesn’t say anything for a moment, just rubs Gerard’s back.

“Frank?”

“Sweetie, we need to talk,” Frank murmurs.

_Gee?_

Gerard pulls back and stares at Frank. “About what?” He asks slowly.

“About Mikey,” Frank whispers.

Gerard freezes for a moment and he can feel Mikey searching in his mind to find out what’s causing the distress in Gerard. Gerard closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. They don’t usually shut each other out. The last time Gerard had shut Mikey out was when Elena had died and Gerard just needed to shut the world out for a while. Mikey let him have his privacy for exactly one day before he barged into his room and smothered him in a hug.

“Let me in,” he had whispered, “the whole point of this is so that we don’t ever have to be alone.”

Gerard had nodded, sobbed and let him back in his mind. 

_You won’t ever be alone._

Frank coaxes Gerard to sit in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “What did Ray tell you?” Gerard whispers.

Frank pulls out Ray’s camera from his pocket and hands it to Gerard. “Ray taped Mikey when we were talking in here, before the fridge thing.”

Gerard hits play with a shaky hand and at first he doesn’t understand what he’s looking at. It’s a thermal camera so there’s just a bunch of colors. He sees two figures, one that is yellow and then one that is blue. “I don’t understand what I’m looking at,” Gerard whispers. 

“Ray was saying that we’d show up warm toned, so yellows and maybe spots of red or orange,” Frank explains softly, staring intently at Gerard, “And ghosts would show up blue or purple.”

Gerard stares at the two figures. “This is me and Mikey,” He whispers.

Frank nods and reaches out to take Gerard’s hand. “I know, baby.”

“But,” Gerard starts, setting the camera down, “So, there’s a ghost in Mikey? I don’t…”

Frank squeezes Gerard’s hand and reaches out to cup his cheek with his other hand. “Mikey is the ghost, Gee.”

Gerard blinks and sits back in his chair, pulling away from Frank. His mind just feels blank. That’s...obviously Mikey isn’t a ghost. Gerard snorts, making Frank jump. “Mikey didn’t die, how could he be a ghost?”

“I was sick,” Mikey says, making them turn quickly in their seats to see Mikey standing in the doorway. And it hits Gerard then. How awful he truly looks, and he wonders if Frank had even noticed, if he thought anything different. Or if he thought that Mikey just always looked this worn down. His skin was pale, and he had always been pale, but this was the sickly pale where he almost looked grey. His hair was greasy and unkept, his eyes seemed hollowed in. His jaw was sharper and his cheekbones more pronounced. “Maybe I never got better.”

Gerard lets down his barrier and he’s hit with Mikey. And he feels the same. He doesn’t feel any coldness, doesn’t feel anything wrong at all. He’s just Mikey. All warmth and familiarity.

_You’re not dead._

“I would know,” Gerard whispers. 

Mikey hovers by the door. “I can’t leave the house,” he whispers, “Whenever I try to step outside, my skin crawls and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I just thought it was anxiety.”

“Look,” Gerard says, standing up and running a hand through his hair. “This is...this is stupid. There’s obviously been a mistake. Ray says he’s never...Frank, _you_ can see Mikey. You’ve been here all week and you’ve hung out with him everyday. Ghosts aren’t...I mean, I’ve _held_ Mikey. He feels real.”

_I’m still real._

“No,” Gerard hisses, glaring at him, “Stop. You are not dead.”

Mikey holds his gaze.

_I never got better._

Gerard shuts his eyes, but he’s considering it now. He’s back in his bedroom with Mikey bundled under that mountain of blankets. He’s thinking of the fever that he couldn’t get down, of how hard it was for Mikey to even breathe. And then he thinks of that moment when the rope was slack. When he couldn’t feel Mikey anymore.

How everything was quiet. 

_I died._

“Stop,” Gerard whispers, pressing his hands over his eyes, “Just stop.”

“Gerard,” Frank says softly, and he feels his arm coming around his shoulders.

Gerard drops his hands and opens his eyes. “You’re not fucking dead. Where’s your body then? I think I would remember that. I would remember a fucking funeral. And Mom would know!”

“I haven’t talked to her since I was sick, Gee,” Mikey whispers like he’s piecing everything together. 

Gerard shakes his head. And he pulls out of Frank’s arms to grab the house phone. 

“Gerard, don’t,” Frank begs softly, getting up to pull Gerard back into his embrace, but Gerard walks down the hall and dials his mom.

“Gerard?” She answers, and Gerard has a split second where he feels like a dick for not calling his mom as much. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you want to talk to Mikey?” Gerard asks.

There’s a pause, then, “Oh, honey.”

And Gerard’s world spins. 

*

When they were little, the Way brothers would spend summers at Elena’s house. It was still in the city, but she had this awesome telescope set up in the attic because the small window faced away from the streetlights. And they could only see the brightest stars, but Gerard and Mikey would stay up all night taking turns to look at the stars. And Gerard would tell him stories about the constellations.

“I thought we were made of stars,” Mikey had said.

“We are,” Gerard had told him, “But some stars you can’t see because of all the smog of the city.”

“Are they still important if they don’t shine as bright?” Mikey had pressed.

Gerard had just smiled and said, “You’re still important, Mikes, even if I can’t see you. You’re the most important.”

*

Frank had held Gerard’s hand while he stayed on the phone with his mom. Apparently Gerard had a breakdown when Mikey had died, and he had blacked out most of it. Mikey had died of pneumonia. Their mom had come by after she hadn’t heard from Mikey or Gerard after her usual Sunday call got ignored. 

When she walked into the house she almost threw up at the stench in the house. When neither Mikey nor Gerard came down the stairs to greet her, she grew worried and checked their rooms. When she made it to Mikey’s room, he was still in bed with Mikey, hugging onto his corpse. Mrs. Way had called the cops and they had to physically pull Gerard from Mikey. And it wasn’t violent or anything, Gerard didn’t scream or cry, he just stared blankly in front of him like he wasn’t all there. 

In between planning her youngest son’s funeral, Mrs. Way took her eldest son to a psychiatrist. And a grief therapist. And a neurologist. Anyone that could explain why Gerard had just shut down. He wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t sleep. Wouldn’t even fucking blink. They were going to admit him, but Mrs. Way couldn’t bear losing another son. So, she took him back to Elena’s house and tucked him back in Mikey’s bed. Gerard had positioned his body to look like he was curved around someone. Mikey. And Mrs. Way just left. Because she couldn’t see anymore. She couldn’t watch Gerard lose his mind. 

But she called the following Sunday, and Gerard had answered with a chipper voice. He told her that Mikey had gotten sick but was feeling much better and that he even took a shower today. He said that he had let work know that he’d be able to come back tomorrow and that he and Mikey were finally out of the woods.

And then Gerard went on living like Mikey was still alive. 

*

_Nothing has to change_

Gerard had let out a teary breath and pressed his face further into Mikey’s chest.

_Everything has changed._

“How?” Mikey whispers, running his fingers through Gerard’s hair. “I’ve been dead for weeks and you didn’t even know.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing,” Mikey points out, then he sighs, “I’m just saying nothing has to change.”

Frank had left them the next morning, to go see his friend and whatever it was he did with his days when he wasn’t with Mikey. He had slept in Gerard’s room last night while Gerard stayed with Mikey. Gerard had been glued to Mikey ever since he got off the phone with his mom. 

“You can’t leave the house?” Gerard asks. 

Mikey shakes his head. “I don’t know. Ghost rules I guess.”

“Sounds kind of awful.”

“It’s not so bad.”

Gerard knew he was lying. While Gerard had no problem staying at home all day, Mikey always was out and about. He’d go to parties he was too cool to be at, walk around malls and only buy a pretzel, or he’d flip through books at their local bookstore. When Pete had left him, Mikey grew somewhat reclusive, but Gerard was sure it was just a phase. He hadn’t known that he’d never leave the house again.

“At least you don’t have to look for a job now,” Gerard says. 

Mikey chuckles, hugging Gerard, because he needs things to go back to normal. Or at least as normal as they could. 

At least until Frank came back with Ray later that afternoon. Gerard didn’t want to hear anymore, he wanted to just pretend that Mikey was still alive like he apparently had been for weeks, almost months.

“Come on,” Mikey whispers, pulling Gerard down the steps with him, “You’ll feel better once we know everything.”

“We do know everything,” Gerard huffs, sitting in the chair next to Frank.

“Lorraine would beg to differ,” Frank says, kissing Gerard’s cheek.

Gerard smiles at that and leans into him, giving him a small kiss as a thank you. He was shocked that Frank was still sticking around. He knows that this was not what Frank had in mind when he came home with him that night after the show. Gerard is officially the messiest hookup ever. 

Mikey slowly opens the fridge and gets everyone a soda, before sitting down next to Gerard.

“I just don’t understand what’s keeping you here,” Ray whispers, setting down his soda and looking at Mikey.

Frank looks at Gerard and Gerard feels like he can see right through him. And for a minute it really fucks with Gerard’s head because no one is supposed to know him as well as Mikey.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Frank asks softly, eyes glued to Gerard. 

_The stars_

Gerard blinks and stares back at Frank, wondering if he knows. 

“You think Gerard is keeping Mikey here?” Ray asks, “I mean, maybe. But, that’s...I mean I know you guys are close but--”

“We’re not like most brothers,” Mikey says, looking at Gerard.

_You’re telling them?”_

_They can help_

“We don’t need help,” Gerard hisses, “You’re staying here and everything is going to go back--”

“Do not say normal! This is not normal!” Mikey yells, and the cabinets swing open.

Ray clears his throat. “Mikey, I think you might want to work on your temper a bit.”

Frank’s eyes are wide as he stares between Gerard and Mikey. “What’s going on between you two?”

“We can hear each other’s thoughts,” Mikey explains, eyes still narrowed at Gerard.

_If they didn’t already think we were crazy before…_

“Like telepathy?” Ray asks. 

Gerard looks at him, then at Frank. “Who even is this guy? You’re like fucking Giles.”

Mikey snorts. “Giles didn’t walk around with an EMF.”

“Well then, like Dean Winchester.”

“I think Ray would be more like Sam, no offense.”

“Why would he be offended by that? Sam is hot.”

“Guys,” Frank says softly, bringing Gerard’s attention back to Frank who is looking bemused and slightly relieved. He looks at Ray, who’s blushing furiously.

“Sort of like telepathy,” Mikey continues, “only not really? I don’t know, we’ve always been like this. And it’s not just thoughts.”

Gerard nods. “Yeah, it’s emotions too,” he says, shuddering a little. They got the hang of it at a young age, but it still didn’t prepare him for puberty. And it seriously wasn’t fair that Gerard had to go through it twice, well so did Mikey. But at least Mikey got a taste of it before he was hit with his own teenage angst, he knew what to expect. Gerard just felt like an overly angst ridden twenty something year old who kept slamming doors and writing terrible poetry. 

“So like…” Ray starts, “Soul bonding?”  
  


Gerard and Mikey look at each other and shrug. Sure, that was easier than Gerard’s theory.

“So...you’re like tethered to Gerard,” Ray says, nodding, then frowns. 

“What?” Mikey asks.

“Well that would probably mean that Gerard would have to be the one to help you, you know, ‘move on’.”

Gerard stands up. “Absolutely not.”

Frank winces and just stares his soda. 

“Gerard,” Ray says softly, “The longer Mikey stays here, the less he’ll be _your_ Mikey.”

Mikey frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Well you’re already busting lights and sending grocery items flying around the kitchen,” Ray says, “it’s just going to get worse.”

“So Mikey will control his temper,” Gerard huffs, “I’m not sending him away because he throws temper tantrums.”

Mikey rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Gee.”

Gerard is watching Frank, at how uncomfortable he looks. He lights a cigarette and hunches over, resting his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor.

“Mikey’s stuck in this house, Gerard,” Ray says softly, looking sadly at him, “That’s not much of a life.”

_You wouldn’t get to have a life with Frank_

Gerard’s attention snaps back to Mikey. 

_Why would you even think that?_

“It’s true,” Mikey huffs.

“I’m done talking about this,” Gerard hisses, and he storms outside. 

He gets about two seconds alone before Frank is outside with him, putting a blanket around his shoulders. Gerard can’t even be angry at him for imposing on his alone time. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. 

Frank wraps his arms around Gerard’s covered shoulders and pulls him against his chest. “I know how much this hurts, Gee, I really do,” Frank murmurs.

Gerard wants to say something snarky, like how the fuck could he understand? But that haunted look in Frank’s eyes in the kitchen makes him stop. 

Frank presses his lips to the back of his neck, his nose already cold against his skin. “My parents died,” he whispers, “That’s why I don’t have a home.”

Gerard’s heart sinks and his mouth feels like it’s been rubbed raw by sandpaper. 

_Fuck_

Gerard turns in Frank’s arms and cups his cheeks. “You didn’t have to tell me that,” he whispers, resting their foreheads together. 

“I did,” Frank says gently. He pauses for a moment, leans away to stare at Gerard and sighs, “Because, I would never want them to be stuck as ghosts. No matter how much I miss them, I wouldn’t wish that on them.”

_Ray says I could turn violent. That I could hurt you._

Gerard closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.”

*

They agree to wait until the New Year, because Gerard made everyone feel like shit when he whispered that he wanted Mikey around for one more Christmas. And fuck, how could anyone say no to that?

And Mikey had turned into some crazy caseworker after finding out that he was dead. He hounded Gerard about quitting the job he bitched about so much. 

“You should be making your own art,” Mikey huffs, taking a slice of pizza. 

“Making my own art doesn’t make money, Mikes,” Gerard points out.

Frank’s learned to not jump in when the Ways are arguing. One time he offered his opinion when the two of them were arguing over whether or not Buffy should have ended up with Spike, and that had not turned out well. Gerard made him sleep on the couch that night. 

So he just eats his pizza and let Mikey praise Gerard and tell him that he’s worth more than some cubicle job. “What about Frank?” Gerard protests.

Frank frowns. “What about me?”

Mikey nods. “He’s right, you need to get your GED.”

Mikey and Frank had talked about it one day when Gerard was at work. How Frank had to drop out of high school because he was still underage and didn’t want to go into the system. Well that and he didn’t want the cops to find him, but he hadn’t told Mikey that. 

“You’re smart enough, Frankie,” Gerard says, “You can go to college even, if you wanted to.”

Frank frowns, he can’t do any of that and they don’t know why. “Guys, drop it.”

Gerard didn’t though, not even when they went to bed that night. He just propped his head up on his hand. “Frank, why don’t you want to finish school? You can’t keep doing small jobs with Ray forever.”  
  


“You kicking me out?” Frank teases, but deep down he knows that he does need to get his shit together. It’s been ten years since his parents died, he really thought he’d have a different kind of life by now. 

“Of course not,” Gerard murmurs, stroking his cheek, “I want you to stay as long as you want.”

  
“This isn’t healthy,” Frank says, sitting up.

Gerard pushes him back down on the pillows gently. “I know this isn’t...normal or whatever. We’re not normal. _I’m_ not normal. My brother is a ghost and I’m just...Frank, I don’t do normal. So whatever this is, it’s ok with me. I promise. It’s not too fast, it’s not scaring me away. Well, I mean, unless it’s too much for you…”

“No,” Frank whispers, pulling him down for a kiss. 

It was too fast, but moments like these made Frank feel like he was living in slow motion. He felt like time stretched far beyond where he and Gerard were stretched out on the bed, pressed against the Speed Racer sheets. 

Gerard had hardly touched him since everything with Mikey exploded, and that was completely understandable. He needed to be with his brother, he needed time to process and come to terms with the fact that Mikey wasn’t going to be around for much longer. And Frank had thought that Gerard would have put them on hold, that Frank would need to hit pause on everything and just watch the fallout, be there to pick up the pieces of Gerard and try to build them back up into a relationship at the same time. And he knew that wasn’t going to work. But fuck if he wasn’t going to try. 

Because while Frank didn’t know what it was like to be in love with someone, he knew that he would love Gerard one day like that. Some days when he was pouring coffee into Gerard’s togo thermos in the mornings he was tricked into thinking he was already there. That his domestic bliss, this quietness of early mornings and strong caffeine filling his nose was all he needed in his life. This was what he had spent all those days walking the streets searching for. 

Gerard pulls Franks shirt off and licks the bomb that’s tattooed on his chest, trails the spider web and kisses the roses. Frank lets himself slip into Gerard’s care, letting himself not think about ghost brothers, dead parents, addict friends, or the strangers he used to falsify security in. He doesn’t think about his low prospects of jobs or the fact that he’ll never see a degree with his name on it. He just let’s Gerard kiss him and touch him like he’s worth something. 

Frank takes his time undressing Gerard, keeps his eager hands slow and thoughtful as he reveals more and more skin. He tilts Gerard’s chin up to kiss him when he sees the flash of insecurity dance across his eyes and warm his cheeks. “Beautiful,” he murmurs, kicking off his pants and boxers.

He flips Gerard over so that he’s on his back and kisses down his chest. He fully intended on grabbing the lube and condoms that he knows are in Gerard’s nightstand from all his previous snooping, but now he’s distracted. Frank nibbles on his hips, smirking at Gerard’s whines and breathy, “Frankie, please.”

Frank kisses down his thighs, making sure to spend equal attention to both before spreading them and hooking them over his shoulders. 

“Frank,” Gerard pants, lifting his hips, “What are...oh _fuck._ ”

Frank hasn’t really done this, he thinks this is the sort of thing you save for people you _really_ care about. He makes it wet and mess, just the way he likes sex and from the way Gerard’s thighs are shaking on his shoulders and the moans ripping out of his throat, he doesn’t think he’s complaining much either. He slides his tongue in him slowly, finding a somewhat rhythm, not enough of one for Gerard to find a pattern, for him to be able to ride him and find a release. Frank isn’t nearly done with him yet. 

Frank replaces his tongue with two fingers, stretching and curling. Frank grins proudly when Gerard jerks and cries out, Frank hits that spot over and over until Gerard is almost sobbing. Frank pulls his fingers out and Gerard starts begging for more almost instantly.

Frank pulls out the condoms and lube. “Shh,” Frank coos against his flushed skin, “Just wait, I’m going to make it good for you baby, just wait.”

*

Gerard comes back with a tub of cherry ice cream, which was totally the right move because Frank is giving him one of those smiles that makes him feel like melting. Gerard sits down, only to be pulled into Frank’s lap. He grins and shifts so that he’s straddling him.

“Best boyfriend ever,” Frank murmurs when Gerard holds out a spoonful of ice cream.

“Boyfriend?” Gerard asks shyly when he takes the bite, “Is that what I am?”

Frank looks at him oddly. “Yeah, Gerard, that’s what you are.”

Gerard leans down and kisses cherries off his lips. He leans back and searches his eyes, trying to find the lie, or the catch at least. There has to be something that Gerard is missing because he doesn’t deserve this man. Who’s been so understanding and patient with him. Who’s taken care of Mikey while Gerard was at work, kept him company and made him feel like he was wanted. Who didn’t make him feel dead.

Frank nips at his bottom lip. “More ice cream,” he says with a grin.

Gerard takes a bite for himself, giving Frank a wink then a bite of ice cream. He’s never had quiet moments like this with someone. Never sat naked in bed with someone eating ice cream and sneaking kisses in between bites. 

“I wanted to be a vet when I was a kid,” Frank says softly after a while.

Gerard feeds him more ice cream and processes this, then, “You still could.”  
  


Frank rolls his eyes. “That’s a lot of school work to catch up on, and I’m already twenty-six.”

“I don’t think there’s an age cut off to be a vet,” Gerard tells him.

Frank sighs, “I know. I just...I wanted more, you know? I’m not unmotivated, I just don’t know how to dig myself out of this hole.”

Gerard sets the ice cream on the nightstand and takes Frank’s hands. “You have me to help you,” he says, squeezing his hands, “And your friends, Mikey too.”

For a little longer, but they don’t say that. 

“I can’t just go back to school,” Frank says, an edge of something in his voice, almost fear--panic even.

“Why?” Gerard whispers, rubbing his thumb in circles against the back of Frank’s hand. “You can trust me, I promise.”

Frank takes a deep breath then looks to the side, not meeting Gerard’s eyes and he thinks Frank’s not going to tell him, until, “I killed my parents.”

Gerard doesn’t think he heard Frank right, but he replays it back in his head and, huh, yeah he said he _killed_ his parents. And Gerard is slightly disturbed that he’s not freaking out right now. He’s had Frank in his home for a couple weeks now, had let him stay home with Mikey--though it’s not like he could really kill Mikey twice, not the point. He should be freaking out. He’s naked and straddling someone who just admitted to murder. 

But it’s Frank. And Gerard isn’t scared. There has to be an explanation, the Frank he’s come to know would never hurt anyone. “What happened?” He asks softly.

Frank turns his head and looks at Gerard like he’s fucking stupid. “What?”

Gerard looks down and pulls Frank’s hands up to his lips and kisses them. “Tell me what happened.”

“I just told you.”

“No, Frank, tell me what happened.”

Frank grips Gerard’s hands tighter, probably to keep them from shaking. “I was sixteen and I was at an event with my parents. My dad was big into philanthropy, and he was speaking at this charity event one night. I was there, and I was just such a dick to them because I had to get all dressed up and sit with a bunch of stuffy old people when I just wanted to go get high with my friends,” Frank starts, Gerard kisses his hands again, urging him to continue, “Anyway, it was time to go and they had been drinking all night and handed me the keys. I hadn’t been driving much, especially at night. But I took them because they were drunk, and I just, I didn’t really think anything of it.”

Oh. “Oh, Frankie, you didn’t kill them,” Gerard whispers softly, kissing his forehead, “It was an accident.”

“But I was driving,” Frank says, his voice tearful, “I drove off the road and they didn’t make it but I did. It’s not...I killed them, Gerard.”

Gerard cups his cheeks, holding his gaze. “You were just a kid,” he whispers, “And you lost control of the car. It was an accident, it happens, you didn’t kill anyone.”

Frank pushes his face into Gerard’s chest and lets out a breathy sob. Gerard wraps his arms around him and hangs on. 

*

Gerard starts crocheting blankets.

At first they’re a little lopsided and there’s gaping holes in some parts, but Mikey grins at him like he’s created a masterpiece. After nights of clicking his hooks together, Gerard gets better. And after a week, he’s able to make patterns and designs in the blankets. 

“He’s always been good at crafts,” Mikey says fondly one night when Gerard has fallen asleep with a blood splattered designed blanket on him.

Frank grins at him. “I made him an Etsy page.”

Mikey chuckles, but he looks at him like Frank just solved world hunger. And from then on, Gerard starts making blankets, pot holders, and pillow covers for customers on Etsy. He makes them with bats, Frankenstien-- “That was for you, Frankie”--, vampires, spiders, and then, finally, ghosts. Mikey had laughed at that and Gerard grinned at him with sparkly eyes. 

By the time they got into December, Frank was helping Gerard package up his creations for people’s holiday shopping. Mikey wrapped each package in skeleton wrapping paper and tied a neat bow on top.

Mikey hadn’t had another outburst since the night that they found out he was dead. But, he was starting to fade away. There was one morning when Frank came out of the shower and could almost see straight through Mikey. A couple of times he would reach out to pick up his soda, and his hand would just go through the can. Gerard stared at him with wide eyes and slept in his room that night. 

“Sometimes I wish he hadn’t stayed,” Gerard whispers to him in the early hours of the morning.

They’re sitting outside on the front porch with a blanket wrapped around their shoulders and mug of hot chocolate in their hands. “It’s scary watching him some days,” he continues, and then he sniffles, “It would have been easier--like ripping off a band-aid.”

“I know, baby,” Frank whispers, kissing his temple. 

But then there’s days when Gerard considers never sending him away, to go back on his promise because they’re doing just fine. Mikey is grinning at him while frosting demented looking gingerbreadmen, flicking bits of sugar at Frank. And Frank just laughs, and smears blue frosting on Mikey’s nose. And it’s just such a perfect moment, that Gerard wants to be selfish and keep Mikey forever. 

But he knows that Mikey won’t let him. So he let’s Mikey help him find more and more reasons to quit his job, to craft full time because he’s “damn good”. He let’s Mikey sort through his belongings and tells him that he better not ever take his bass to a Goodwill. “Give it to Pete,” he had whispered.

That was the worst part. Pete. 

Because they had realized that Pete hadn’t been ignoring Mikey’s texts, because Mikey hadn’t been sending any texts this whole time. 

“I feel like my mind just got fucked sideways,” Mikey mumbled when Gerard looked at their phone records and figured it out. 

“Do you want me to call him?” Gerad asked.

“And what? Tell him I’m dead but that I’d really like to see him before I pass on or whatever? No thanks,” Mikey hissed, the windows in his room flying open. 

Gerard sighed and walked over to close them. “Ok, Mikes. You still have time to decide.”

*

Frank takes Gerard to the holiday party that they put on at the rec center that Hambone goes to. Gerard is super sweet with Hambone, talks to him about addiction and how it had a hold on Gerard for a little bit. He nods and stares at Hambone while he talks, keeps his eyes earnest and open.

And that’s one of the things that Frank is starting to love about Gerard. How he’s going through hell and back, but still makes others feel important. He pushes everything down and makes the person he’s with their priority.

He should have been spending every free second with Mikey, but he helped Frank fill out paperwork for his GED. And then he and Mikey looked at job listings that Frank would like and they filled out the applications for him. And they listed their house as his permanent address.

The more the Way house looks like Christmas, the more somber Frank feels. The harder it is to look at Mikey, who still sits on the couch and watches reality tv like nothing has changed. 

“Are you scared?” Frank had asked once.

Mikey shrugged. “I’m...unsure. What is there after this, you know?”

“Catholic,” Frank said, pointing to himself.

Mikey grinned. “So, heaven for me?”

“Definitely,” Frank said, stretching out on the couch and resting his feet in his lap, “With all the MTV and pizza rolls you could ever want.”

Mikey grinned. “Sounds good.”

But Gerard doesn’t act like he’s thinking about it right now. He just walks over to Frank with another sugar cookie and grins at the dancefloor where Hambone got roped into dancing with Mrs. Henderson, the elderly lady who puts on the parties for the community. 

“Do you want to dance?” Gerard asks softly.

Frank blushes. “I don’t dance.”

“Bullshit, I’ve seen you dance before.”

“That was a mosh pit, sweetie, that’s different.”

Gerard just shoves the whole cookie in his mouth and takes Frank’s hand, pulling him out on the dance floor. Frank let’s Gerard lead and lays his head on his shoulder as Gerard sways them. He thinks back to the first night he met him, how he looked so magnetic. His greasy hair and sparkly eyes. His blush and that sheepish smile. The way he took him home that night and just fell asleep with him, comfortable. 

And this little life they’ve started to build. The routine of filling Gerard’s hand with coffee and a bagel before he leaves for work. Of Frank sitting with Mikey on the couch before he visits Hambone and Ray. Then, how he comes home and makes whatever Mikey is feeling like for dinner. They’ll welcome Gerard home and Frank will kiss the smile back on his face. They’ll grin around the kitchen table and then fall onto the couch and watch a scary movie or play Mario Kart. It’s a fuller day than Frank has ever had, his heart is fuller than he thought it could ever be. 

*

Gerard quits his job the same day that Pete shows up at their front door.

Frank answers the door and he wants to punch the fucker in the face for all the nights that Mikey woke him up crying. But there’s a brokenness in his eyes, and Frank knows that this isn’t Pete’s fault. That he’s hurting too. That he probably just found out his boyfriend is dead.

Frank let’s him in from the cold and watches him walk hesitantly into the house. He slips his scarf off his neck and looks around. Mikey comes down the steps with Gerard trailing behind, his face too composed to be natural. Mikey stops at the bottom stair and there’s a moment where Frank can’t _breathe_ from the tension.

And then Mikey is jumping into Pete’s arms and Pete falls back against the wall, holding on tight and pressing his face into Mikey’s shoulder. “How are you here?” Pete gasps, gripping Mikey’s shirt. 

Mikey doesn’t answer for a while, just cries into Pete’s coat. The picture frames along the stairs raddle, and Pete stares with wide eyes. He strokes Mikey’s back and sways them, whispering against his ear until Mikey’s tears slow and he’s just sniffling softly. 

Frank is the one who has to explain it all to Pete, both the Ways too choked up. Frank’s a little surprised at how easily Pete took in everything, but he supposes the Ways attract like minded people. They were all a little strange.

The Way house is suddenly full with the four of them around all the time. They spend lazy mornings making warm croissants from scratch, sometimes drizzling hot chocolate sauce over them. Gerard has such a sweet tooth and douses them in powdered sugar whenever he gets the chance. 

Hambone and Ray come over too, the living room stuffed with yelling boys and thrown pizza rolls as they play Mario Kart. Mikey sitting on Pete’s lap with a grin plastered on his face as Gerard falls off the track yet again. Ray’s hair shakes with laughter when Frank does his victory dance and Hambone throws a handful of popcorn ath him. 

The weeks blur together and Frank just wants to press on the breaks for Mikey. He wants to slow down so that he can appreciate the way he grins and blushes under Pete’s kisses. Wants to watch him and Gerard have more silent conversations that make Gerard burst out laughing. Wants to spend more afternoons on the couch with him, listening to him say the lines along to Buffy. 

*

Christmas day is perfect.

Gerard wakes up and smells sugary cinnamon. 

_Frank’s making cinnamon rolls._

_Merry Christmas, Mikey._

_Merry Christmas, Gee._

Gerard takes his time getting up, lets the sounds of the house slowly wake him up. He listens to the footsteps of Mikey and the soft giggles coming from Pete. He hears Frank in the kitchen, the oven’s timer going off. There’s Christmas music playing softly, echoing up the steps. 

They had promised no presents this year. Mikey didn’t see the point of getting anything, and it wasn’t like he could go out and shop for anyone either. But that didn’t stop Gerard from still covering the house in Christmas. He and Frank put up the Christmas three and let Mikey decide where their Star Wars ornaments would go. Pete put Mikey on his shoulders so that he could stick Darth Vader on top of the tree. Frank had taped up Christmas lights in the house, all along the ceilings because Mikey wouldn’t be able to go outside and see the Christmas lights this year. They hung up stockings, letting Frank and Pete decorate their own with glitter glue. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Frank murmurs from the doorway. 

Gerard sits up and smiles at him. “I’m awake.”

Frank hesitates before coming in and kissing his forehead. “I know it’s a hard day,” he whispers. 

Gerard nods but forces a smile. “It’ll still be a good day.”

Frank tilts Gerard’s chin up and kisses him slowly. “Come eat breakfast.”

When Gerard gets downstairs, Pete and Mikey are already covered in icing from the cinnamon rolls and laughing. Mikey laughs so hard orange juice comes out of his nose.

_Gross._

Mikey looks up and grins at him, his cheeks flushed and looking almost _alive_. 

It was hard to talk his mom into letting him have this Christmas alone, he lied and said that he was spending it with Frank’s family. Though, Gerard thinks, that’s not really a lie. After breakfast, Ray and Hambone come over for the afternoon and Gerard’s heart swells at all the people sitting in his grandmother’s living room. All these people who love Frank. Who are his family, and who love Mikey and are his family too. 

_Yours too._

Gerard smiles.

_Of course._

Gerard waits until everyone is distracted with _Christmas Vacation_ to go upstairs and pull out the bag that’s hiding everyone’s Christmas sweaters. He walks back into the living room and Mikey narrows his eyes at Gerard’s bag.

_You promised._

_Homemade doesn’t count._

Frank pauses the movie and grins at him. “Whatcha got there, Gee?”

Gerard smiles and tosses him his sweater. They’re all ugly Christmas sweaters, but he took the time to add in his own personal touches. Frank’s has Frankenstien wearing a Santa hat on his. Mikey’s has ice skating zombies. Pete’s has vampires caroling. Hambone’s has a werewolf in a scarf. Ray’s is a bloody snowman. And Gerard’s has a ghost wearing a wreath around its neck. 

Mikey’s eyes water and he tugs his sweater on, smiling up at Gerard. Frank makes everyone put theirs on and they take one of those stupid family photos in front of the Christmas tree by setting a camera ontop of a bookcase. 

It’s cheesy and cozy, and exactly what Gerard wanted for Christmas. The day winds down and Ray and Hambone leave sometime in the early evening. Pete sneaks out for a couple hours to make an appearance at another Christmas party, but Gerard also suspects it's to give the Way brothers some alone time because Frank mutters a lame excuse as well as he follows Pete out the door. 

Mikey lays his head in Gerard’s lap and Gerard thinks of all the times that they’ve done this. And how this could be the last time. New Years, he had promised, only a week away. Only a week left with his brother.

_Stop._

“Sorry,” Gerard whispers, pushing Mikey’s hair off his forehead, “I’m here now.”

*

Gerard hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep until he was nudged inside a dream.

_Gerard_

Gerard opens his eyes and blinks, letting his eyes adjust to his dark bedroom. Frank is still sleeping behind him, a bare arm slung over Gerard’s waist.

_Come to the attic._

Gerard smiles and slips out of bed, pulling on the pajama pants that are on the floor before making his way up the steps to the attic. Mikey is standing at the telescope in his sweater, smiling at whatever it is that he sees. 

“Are the stars out?” Gerard asks softly.

“Only the brightest ones,” Mikey says, looking up.

Gerard tilts his head to the side. There’s something off about Mikey, he’s got this weird expression on his face. Somber, but at peace. Maybe even a little content. His eyes are scared, but he smiles gently at Gerard and walks to him, taking his hands and says, “I want you to send me away. Now.”

Gerard drops his hands. “What?”

Mikey sighs and takes Gerard’s hands again. “Today was perfect,” he explains, “I got to see everyone and play video games. We ate junk food and watched all the Christmas movies we owned. I took a nap with you on the couch and we got to watch Frank play guitar...and Pete told me he loved me.”

_Oh, Mikey._

And Gerard can feel it. The way that Mikey’s changed. How he feels tingly and his heart feels full. Finally, after all this time of coldness, Mikey feels warm. 

“I’m happy,” Mikey says, “And I want that to be how I leave this world.”

Gerard’s crying, silently, just tears dripping down his cheeks. Mikey leans into him and rests his forehead against his. 

_Love you._

“I love you,” Gerard whispers, leaning up and kissing his forehead.

_You’re my whole world._

Gerard closes his eyes. He doesn’t even know what sending him away means. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to let Mikey go even if he wanted to. 

How he’s supposed to let go of someone who’s been with him his entire life. Someone who’s watched him fall in love for the first time. Who’s picked up his broken heart more than Gerard has liked to admit. Picked him off of dirty venue floors after he’s drank too much. Has pushed him to always find the art in his everyday life. Made him leave the house even after Elena died and when he wanted to follow her to the grave. Who has made plans for Gerard, made him find a career he likes and a solid support system of Frank and his friends to make sure Gerard doesn’t follow Mikey. 

How is he supposed to let go of Mikey?

_Just let go_

Gerard thinks about that feverish night, thinks about the way the rope went slack in his mind. How Mikey seemed to just let go of the rope.

He feels the pull in his mind loosen at the same time he feels Mikey brush his lips against Gerard’s.

And then there’s nothing. 

Gerard opens his eyes and he’s alone. 

*

It’s February and the cold mornings are still relentless when Gerard wakes up. He slides out of bed, letting Frank sleep in since he was up late last night studying for his GED exam. 

He hovers by Mikey’s door. Sometimes he goes in and sits on his bed, looks out his window and pretends that it’s just a summer day from his childhood. That Mikey will come bouncing into his room and tell him that he’s not allowed to be in here without his permission. 

Frank flip flops between thinking that they should move out. The house holds so many memories, so vivid that sometimes they play out in front of Gerard like ghosts. But, Gerard doesn’t think he could ever leave this house. Could ever leave the telescope up in the attic that Gerard spends nights looking through, looking at the brightest stars and searching for Mikey in between them. 

He walks down the steps, looking through the photos. His favorite is the one at the bottom of the steps, of all of them in their Christmas sweaters. Mikey is smiling with his arm over Gerard’s shoulders. Gerard had blinked when the camera went off, so it looks like he’s laughing. Pete isn’t looking at the camera, he’s staring at Mikey like he’s the universe. Gerard understands. 

Gerard goes into the kitchen and turns on the coffee maker. He responds to some emails from his Etsy account. Looks over some of the orders he’s received just over night. Then he finds an email from Pete. He makes sure to check in with him at least once a week. He’s doing good on the road, him and the guys had to sneak into Canada for some reason so that they could play their shows. 

Sometimes Pete will send him photos of him and Mikey that he finds on his phone, pictures of that summer where Mikey’s nose is burnt and his hair is blonder from the sun. Sometimes they sit on the phone for hours, swapping stories.

Eventually Gerard knows that Pete will have to move on. It’ll be hard, he doesn’t think that anyone can just move on from someone like Mikey Way. But he knows that Pete is strong, and he knows that he’ll still take care of his brother in his memories. 

Gerard’s made peace with the fact that he will never be whole again. That there’s always going to be something missing in him. Frank distracts him, makes him feel so loved that he forgets that half his heart is gone. 

It was hard at first. The quiet. The loneliness in his mind.

But when he finally was able to get out of bed. When Frank finally coaxed Gerard to go outside, to breathe in the cold, winter air, fill his lungs and remember that he was still alive. Move his legs and work his body and walk out of the house because he could, that he wasn’t a trapped ghost living in the illusions of reality tv or murky memories. 

Gerard was alive.

There are some days that hurt more than others. Some days it left him paralyzed in Mikey’s room, begging again to feel that tug at the end of the rope. But those days have gotten few, the more that Frank pushes Gerard to walk down the roads with him. To fall into a routine. To meet Hambone at the steps every morning. Look through comics with Ray. Listen to music at the record store. Dance and sing at night, pressed against Frank and knowing that he was the only one taking him home. 

Then they’d walk home. Frank’s hand in his, warm and grounding him to this life. 

To life. 

And Gerard would look up at the stars and feel a slight tug. Just enough to let Gerard know that Mikey was still out there somewhere. 

Existing and waiting for Gerard.


End file.
